CMN 120 Lecture Notes - Lecture 9: Ultimate Galactus Trilogy, Phase 2, Financial Independence

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11 Apr 2017
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Lecture 9 - 3/1 - Relational Dissolution
1. Introduction to Relational Dissolution
1. According to Hill et al. - 40% of romantic relationships & 50% of
marriages end within 2-5 years after they are established
2. Metaphors for relational dissolution (TWO: Passing Away &
Sudden Death)
1.1. Passing Away = slow decline/deterioration/fading away that
represents a process
1.1.1. Usually happens because of:
1.1.1.1. New partner/friend
1.1.1.2. People move away, lose contact
1.1.2. Don't instantly stop being/becoming friends
1.2. Sudden Death = Discrete/sudden event that causes
death of relationship, not expecting it
1.1.1.1. Ex: cheating; over without talking or
fixing relationship; actual death
2. Divorce Statistics
1.1. 90% of people will get married
1.1.1. 50% of those relationships will end in divorce;
just as likely to die to end relationship as to get
divorce
1.2. Remarriage
1.2.1. Average length of marriage: 18 years
1.1.1.1. of couples make it to 10 years
1.1.2. Most people who get divorced typically get
remarried; chances for divorce increase though even
after remarriage
1.1.1.1. Occurs typically when marrying
someone who’s already been divorced
(assortative mating = marrying someone
with a similarities [in this case, ya’ll are both
divorced af])
1.1.2. Sharp increase in divorce rates in 1960-70s
1.1.1.1. 1974 = the first time more relationships
ended in divorce than death; this pattern has
been the same ever since
1.1.2. Three to eight years is a big divorce
window
1.1.1.1. Make it past 8 years and you’ll be better
off aka less chances of getting divorced
2. Reasons for Divorce (Miller, 2009) (EIGHT)
1.1. Expectations of Marriage
1.1.1. Different cultural standards
1.1.2. Practical relations are different (marriage is
not all about supporting each other and family like
before)
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1.1.1.1. Cohabitation & single parenthood is
more accepted/common
1.1.2. More lofty romantic
standards/expectations, will end because
expectations not realistic too high
1.2. Societal Influences
1.2.1. Many women now engage in US workforce
1.1.1.1. More work-family conflict, less time
with spouse/kids/etc can potentially cause
conflict (especially for women)
1.1.1.2. Lower quality of marriage due to less
time to work on marriage
1.1.1.3. More opportunities for marital discord -
stress at work can bleed over
1.1.1.4. Increases in access to alternative
partners
1.1.1.1.1. Women more likely to divorce in
workplaces surrounded by more men
(attracted to other ppl)
1.1.1.2. Financial independence = more
money they making, more likely to divorce
1.1.1.1.1. Independence hypothesis =
economic freedom to divorce makes
divorce more likely
1.1.1.1.1.1. If dependent on a partner,
then less likely to divorce
1.2. Gender roles
1.1.1.1. Changing roles of women
1.1.1.1.1. Less traditional, women
becoming more self-reliant
1.2. Individualism
1.1.1.1. US becoming more and more
individualistic, less concerned for others and
more ourselves
1.1.1.2. People less connected to others
around them than they used to be
1.1.1.3. We demand more out of our spouses
1.1.1.4. Less affected by community norms
that might discourage them from divorcing
(divorce ain’t that bad nowadays; pretty
normal)
1.2. Sex ratio
1.1.1.1. Since 1960s, more women than men
in US
1.1.1.2. Men more likely to have an affair
when there are more women available
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1.2. Perceptions of divorce
1.1.1.1. Divorce is easier, laws more loose
1.1.1.2. Less stigma of divorce
1.2. Cohabitation
1.1.1.1. Couples nowadays will live together
before getting married; when couples
cohabitate they are more likely to get
divorced esp if for a long time
1.1.1.2. Shown to be a strong predictor of
divorce for trial run
1.1.1.3. Lead to less respect for the institution
of marriage, less favorable expectations
about the outcomes of marriage, and greater
willingness of divorce
1.1.1.4. Only works when there is clear
expectations for cohabitation and is
pragmatic (practical)
1.1.1.5. Serial slides (just happen to start
cohabitating without talking about it) are
more likely to divorce; make sure expectations
are the same
1.2. Family of origin conflict
1.1.1.1. If you come from family that has
divorced, you have broken perspective and
influences your perception of marriage
1.1.1.2. Intergenerational transmission of
divorce = from parents to children, etc.
1.1.1.3. Bigger the rock (diamond on the ring)
more likely to divorce
2. Theories of Relational Dissolution
1.1. Reasons for Relational Dissolution (FOUR)
1.1.1. Conscious Choice = you make the decision
for ending a relationship
1.1.1.1. “Sudden death”
1.1.2. Atrophy = people grow apart over time
mentally or emotionally, less intensity and closeness
with people over time
1.1.1.1. Not much similar interests anymore
1.1.1.2. We don’t really acknowledge this, it just
happens
1.1.1.3. “Passing away
1.1.2. Separation = you don’t really see them
much anymore due to physical distance
1.1.1.1. Proximity in attraction dorm room
studies (ppl who are physically close to each
other)
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