FCSE 3120 Lecture 27: Communication

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Family and Consumer Sciences Education
FCSE 3120

Communication • “60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth.” o Will Smith in Hitch Nonverbal Communication • Nonverbal = basic interpersonal attitude, emotion or relationship towards the person. o Compliments: Helps convey full meaning of what we say. o Substitutes: Can communicate how we feel without words, to someone who reads us well. o Regulate: Trailing off indicates other may speak. o Contradict: “No, I’m NOT angry.” People believe nonverbal first, if they aren’t the same message. ▪ There is no such thing as not communicating! Proximity • Can indicate interest & attention. • Where we sit (proximity) indicates levels of intimacy. • Moving away indicates desire to terminate conversation. • Moving closer usually one exchanges cues to avoid chance of rejection. • Cultures differ in degree of acceptable closeness. Eye Contact • Eyes are the window into a person’s soul; they show emotion, feelings, & expression! • In Western countries, eye contact shows respect. However, in Eastern countries looking someone of authority in the eyes is considered disrespectful. • Shows a person you’re interested. • Eye contact can show someone you appreciate them and you understand them. Body Orientation & Posture • Tap fingers • Lifted eyebrow • Rub nose or pull on ear • Sweating palms, white knuckles • Folded arms • Swinging or crossing legs • Wringing hands, kicking ground • Steeple hands • Feet on desk Communication Guidelines • Communication is a 2-part process to exchange information: ○ 1st the message must be sent ○ 2nd the message must be received & understood • Wondering, assuming and guessing what others feel or think, makes disaster. • In order to have meaningful relationships (dates, friends, family, employment) it is essential to have effective communication. o Interrupting – breaking into the conversation, not giving the other a chance to finish. o Endless fighting – bring up things from the past & never resolving things. o Character assassination – name calling, belittling, insulting remarks. o Calling in reinforcements – involve outsiders to support you. o Withdrawal – leave, indifference, silent treatment. o Need to be right – refusal to admit their part in the problem. Misperceptions Feedback • Necessary after self disclosure. o Provides constructive info about consequences of someone’s behavior towards you. o Which do you think would work best? ▪ Remain silent?
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