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Lecture 31

HDFS 2300 Lecture 31: Handling Children's emotions

Human Development and Family Studies
Course Code
HDFS 2300
Louisa Baker

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Handling Children’s Feelings
From Ginnot
Feelings before actions
o Behavior change won't happen before feelings are addressed
o Teaching kids to have the skills and language to talk about their feelings so
they don't have to act out
Only when children feel right can they think clearly, and act right
Concentrate, pay attention, and be able to listen
o Behind many kid questions is a desire for reassurance
Kids need to know that their feelings are a normal part of being human
All feelings are legitimate: positive, negative, or ambivalent
Is this the way that I see myself in this moment the way you see
I hate my sister
Subtext: I am better
Parent as a mirror
o Children learn about their physical likeness by seeing their image in a mirror.
They learn about their emotional likeness by hearing their feelings reflected
to them
What does an accurate reflection look like?
o What messages are parents (unconsciously) reflecting for their children?
o Doing something well does not make you a good person
Judgmental and evaluative praise doesn't help anyone
o Praise a child's effort and accomplishments, not their character or image of
their personality
o Praise
o what the parent says vs what the child hears
You must be so proud
o "I appreciate you cleaning up your plate"
o better than "you're such a good kid"
When things go wrong
o When things go wrong is not the right time to teach an offender about their
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