CYAF 280 Lecture 25: Singlehood

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Child, Youth and Family Studies
CYAF 280
Rochelle Dalla

Singlehood Finding Someone to Date: Field of Eligible • Marriage Marketplace: trading 'goods' (personality, humor, intelligence, physical attributes) • Limited by: ◦ Field of eligibles: those deemed "appropriate" by cultural standards ◦ Endogamy: rules, norms, social customs and law which dictate marriage to someone who IS a member of a group the person belongs (religion, race, caste) ◦ Exogamy: Rules, norms, social customs, and laws which dictate marriage to someone OUTSIDE a social group in which a person belongs ◦ Homogamy: personal choice based on similar group characteristics ◦ Heterogamy: personal choice based on different group characteristic's • Types of Singles ◦ Come down to choice and state • Ambivalents: Singlehood is temporary and it is voluntary ▪ Not actively seeking • Wishfuls: Singlehood is temporary but is involuntary ▪ Actively seeking • Resolveds: Singlehood is permanent and it is voluntary ▪ Dedicated lives to religious groups or work • Regretfuls: Singlehood is permanent and is involuntary Meeting --> Couple? How do you move from "meeting" to "dating" to a "couple"? • Murstein Stimulus Value Role Theory ◦ Stage 1: Stimulus -- attracted to other before (very little) interaction. Little information for evaluation ◦ Stage 2: Value -- weigh values for compatibility. Outcomes - move on or disengage ◦ Stage 3: Role -- analyzes other's behavior ◦ Stages similar regardless of use of technology. Differences in rapidity • Critiques ◦ Is this generalizable to all "dating" relationships? Theory assumes "marriage" or committed relationship is goal ◦ Not compatible with "storgic" orientation to love ◦ Stages 2 (value) and 3 (role) reversed for some ◦ Culturally bound-based on culturally specific values of "romance" and "love" as prerequisites to marriage how transferable?   Cohabiting Relationships: Living together before marriage • Cohabitation: Huge increase last 50 years ◦ 1960: 430,000 couples ◦ 2012: 7.8 million couples (heterosexual only) • Why more acceptable/widespread? ◦ Climate of sexuality more liberal; moreal criterion shifted -- love not marriage
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