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Comprehensive Notes for Lecture 5

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Marriage Paradox of Marriage (why get married, ideological power of marriage) Is marriage in decline? (household structure, marriage rates, marriage delay) Alternatives to Marriage 1.0 (cohabitation, same-sex partnerships and marriage) Ongoing controversies How do people end up in long-term relationships? Social Exchange Theory- People seek to get more than they give. Always looking for ways to get something in a higher value. Always seeking to get more than what we have put down to give. Getting more than what we offer. Exchange is unequal of partnership in a relationship Cost Benefit ratio: Do advantages exceed disadvantages? Weighing and calculating the advantages of a relationship to exceed the disadvantages of the individual. Balance… Are the advantages outweighing the disadvantages. Satisfaction ratio: Does satisfaction exceed expectations? Happiness with a relationship, how does it compare to the expectations of the relationship. Does the reality of the relationship balance with what we expect form the relationship? If its high expectations, we stay, if low, then we bail Dependence level: Are there better options than current partner? How dependent are we in this being the only option? Are there any other options or decision? If dependence level is high aside from cost benefit and satisfaction ratio, then the relationship stays because they are committed. Triarchic Theory (shaped like a funnel, more passion, intimacy in middle, and less commitment) What has to come together to have a high value relationship? - Passion (short-term): physical attraction, draws people together, the beginning of relationships, early and may not last a long time. - Intimacy (gradual): not just sexual but emotional, psychological closeness and disclosure, passion can lead to increased intimacy - Commitment (deliberate): over the longer haul, there is the commitment, the conscious choice to take the relationship to a new level. - All leads to a high-value relationship Social Influence Theory Structural (who ends up with who?) - Similar location in social structures and similar background. End up with people who are similar to the person in terms of social structure. Education can be a good example for social structuring. Can be cultural, locational. People prefer to marry someone with the same educational level. Psychological - Complementary psychological need. One person needs to be taken care of and another person takes care of the other. One person has a high excitement drive and the other person does too. When one individuals psych needs change and the other doesn’t, then the relationship might not fit Ideology - Influence of dominant ideas about what is attractive. What we learn about what is attractive, physical attractiveness, what is appropriate, what is required for successful relationship. Influenced ideologically be media about what is and what is not attractive or acceptable in a relationship. Developmental - Similar points in life course and emotional development. We look for people that look at similar points in life course that we look at. Ex. Ready to settle down, have a home, and have 2.3 children, we would be with someone who has the same view and the same point of their life cycle. Developmental looks at life events, and orientation around the major life events. Psychological is more internal and developmental is more external Marriage as a Paradox- - Growing alternative to marriage. Many women are having children outside of marriage - More adult life spend outside marriage. We live longer and we are not dying at a younger age. People who do get married is at a later time in life. As well divorce, they are not married anymore. BUT - Marriage still highly valued. - 88% of teens expect to marry for life - 85% of adults say marriage is better than singlehood. Why do Canadians Marry? Wanting to marry: 1. Signifies commitment 2. Positive moral value (makes you a better person) 3. Children should have married parents 4. Financial security, have to pool resources with a spouse 5. Religious beliefs Being married: 1. Psychological support (knowing that there a partner that loves and supports) 2. Knowing relationship is permanent 3. Appreciating partners unique characteristics 4. Being a family rather than an individual 5. Having children Weddings, Inc. Costs of getting married are going up. Average marriage before honeymoon $23,390 and g
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