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Sexuality, Marriage, and Family Studies
SMF 204
B J Rye

Chapter 6: Attraction and Love Attraction-similarity hypothesis holds that people tend to develop romantic relationship with those whose level of physical attractiveness and other traits are similar to their own ­ opposites do not attract ­ propinquity (proximity) is a reason why we are attracted to others ­ drawn to people whose attitudes are similar to our own ­ we assume that people we find attractive share the same attitudes ­ when we feel admired and complimented we tend to return those feelings and behaviors, which is reciprocity (mutual exchange) ­ when it comes to long-term partners, woman care about men with earing potential, kindness, dependability, fondness for children, and consideration ­ men care about physical attractiveness, cooking ability, and youth EVOLUTIONARY PERSPECTIVE ON MATE PREFERENCE ­ human beings are genetically motivated to reproduce ­ some traits are appealing to both genders b/c they have reproductive potential A Greek Heritage Storge loving attachment and nonsexual affection. This is the type of emotion that binds parents and children Agape- selfless love. This kind of love is similar to generosity and charity Philia- love between friends. The kind of love is based on liking and respect, rather than sexual desire Eros- the kind of love that’s closest to our modern-day concept of passion o a character in Greek myth called Cupid Romantic Love- love characterized by feelings of passion and intimacy ­ mat experience pounding heart, sweaty hands ­ cognitive appraisal of the physiological arousal means you attribute to to some cause, such as fear or love ­ romantic love begins with a powerful physical attraction or feelings of passion and is associated with strong physiological arousal ­ romantic love is usually a source of deep fulfillment and ecstasy Infatuation- a state of intense absorption in or focus on another person, usually accompanied by sexual desire, elation and general physiological arousal or excitement. Referred to as passion Susan Hendrick and Clyde Hendrick developed a Love Attitude Scale that suggests 6 styles of love: Romantic love (eros) my lover fits my ideal; “my lover and I were attracted to each other immediately Game-playing love (ludus)- I keep my lover up in the air about my commitment; I get over love affairs pretty easily Friendship (storge, philia) Logical love (pragma)- I consider a lover’s potential in life before committing myself; I consider whether my lover will be a good parent Possessive, excited love (mania)- I get excited about my love that I can’t sleep Selfless love (agape)- I’d do anything I could to help my lover STERNBERG’S TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LIFE Intimacy- the experience of warmth towards another person that arises from feelings of closeness, bondness, connectedness, including the desire to give an receive emotional support and to share one’s innermost thoughts Passion- an intense romantic or sexual desire for another person, accompanied by physiological arousal Commitment-dedication to maintaining the relationship through good times and bad ­ love can be conceptualized in terms of a triangle ­ infatuation is typified by strong, sexual desire, but not by intimacy and commitment ­ romantic love has both passion and in
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