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Literature Review MATT DUBAJ.doc

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Western University
Psychology 2075

Literature ReviewBeing in a relationship has many perks and benefits such as companionship love social support and sexual involvement Laumann Gagnon MichaelMichaels 1994 WaiteGallagher 2000Some relationships succeed but unfortunately some also fall apart The discontinuance of a relationship as a marriage or a friendship is the definition of a break up Some people realize what they have lost and would like to rekindle their relationship with their expartner The purpose of this research study is to use past research and findings to determine whether staying friends with you expartner or completely cutting contact with them increases your chances of getting back together The present study hypothesizes that partners that completely cut all contact and communication with their expartners will have a greater chance of getting back together than partners that decided to become friendsBegging your partner to come back with promises of change and flowers is a poor position to put yourself in Putting yourself in a position of availability is a bad thing this gives the partner permission to go out and do whatever they want always knowing they can always come back to you The alternative is to be placed in a position of scarcity to be in a position of shortage This is support by the old biblical story of Adam and Eve and the Forbidden fruit Eves desire to eat the fruit that grew on the tree grew stronger and stronger as the days passed on all because it was something that she wasnt allowed to have God forbade her to eat it There is a human tendency to want to have something that we cannot have DeWall Maner DeckmanRouby 2011 This applies in relationships in order for your expartner to want you you must create factors that limit your potential of getting back together to seem more desirable Ignoring other attractive potential partners while in a relationship will enhance your current relationships wellbeing DeWall et al 2011Research done by DeWall et al 2011 found that the opposite is true with 3 supporting experiments found that subtly limiting peoples attention to attractive alternatives reduced relationship satisfaction and commitment and increased positive attitudes toward infidelity Experiment 1 increased memory for attractive relationship alternatives Experiment 2 and increased attention to attractive alternatives Experiment 3 All these experiments are connected with the original notion of the Forbidden fruit wanting something that you cannot have Distancing ourselves from our loved ones has an effect on our human physiology surprisinglyCompletely cutting off all contact from your expartner may cause them to miss you since you are no longer on the backburner There is a common saying that states absence makes the heart grow fonder and there is research on a physiological level that supports this saying A study conducted which included 237 men in a committed sexual relationship measured various conditions of sperm samples of men who spent time apart from their partners Shackelford Goetz McKibbinStarratt 2007 Shackelford et al 2007 found that a man who spends a greater proportion of time apart from his partner since last intercourse they had more sexual interest in their partner greater distress in response to his partners sexual rejection and greater sexual persistence in response to his
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