Family Relationships: A Life Span Development Approach [NOTES Part 10] - 4.0ed the course

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Department
Family and Child Sciences
Course Code
FAD 2230
Professor
All

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Chapter 6 – Communication  Communication: the process of exchanging and interpreting ideas (come from your head) and  feelings (come from your heart)  Communication assumptions • Family/friend communication is not random → Consistent, repetitive patterns – if you were to call mom/dad to ask for money, you know  exactly what they’d say  • Communication is transactional – it goes back and forth → Exchanging information – if you’re giving someone the cold shoulder, even though you’re  not directly speaking to them, you’re conveying a message that you’re upset with them  • It is impossible not to communicate   Elements of Communication • The communicator → The person who creates and sends the message ⇒ The person who’s communicating is the person who is their own individual; they have a  whole back ground that’s going to influence how they communicate ⇒ What we wear, body presence, facial expressions, mannerisms, and tone of voice are all  forms of information about the communicator  • The message → The information or bit of communication that’s being transmitted from the communicator to  the receiver  → You come up with the message in a way that makes sense to you in your mind for the  audience/receiver to hear; prepared/encoded by the communicator → Message may contain thoughts, feelings, thoughts, idea, suggestions, and/or commands  → Think about how you want to say something along with how the person might receive the  message • The medium → The way the message is sent: talking, television, texting, email, note, etc.  → Your medium will often affect how the message is received ⇒ “More honorable” way of breaking up with someone = face to face; you could say the  same exact thing, but it is interpreted much differently face to face  → Things can get lost in written word; no inflection; even when you’re doing things the way  that follows the “norm” things can be misinterpret things • The recipient → The receiver of the message; interprets the message based on his/her own personality, life  experience, and the relational context → You receive things differently based on who is telling you something and the relationship you  have with them  • (Communicator) Thoughts/feelings  ▯intent  ▯encode   ▯ behavior  ▯communication   ▯ decode  ▯ impact (receiver) public private  Conflict • What is a conflict? When you’re talking to someone and you have differing ideals; there’s no  conflict when everyone agrees/there’s no choice → Some different definitions ⇒ Incompatibility  ⇒ Disagreement ⇒ Opposition ⇒ Battle  ⇒ Struggle  • Are conflicts healthy? → Jon Gottman found that fighting or airing out grievances and complaints is one of the  healthiest things that  a couple can do for their relationship ⇒ You don’t have to bottle up your feelings; your partner can be aware of your expectations  • Are all Conflicts solvable? → Solvable: conflict or problem that has a solution ⇒ Ex.: cutting the grass → Perpetual: conflict or problem that within a relationship can never be solved ⇒ Ex.: having children  • Avoiding conflict → Anger “insteads”: people feel uncomfortable being mad so they do something else instead  like over eating, gossiping, talking about the problem to everyone except the person  (cleaning, playing music, bottling up) → Passive aggression: when a person expresses anger at someone but does so indirectly rath
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