CMN 120 Midterm: CMN 120 - Midterm 2 Lecture Note Study Guide

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8 Mar 2017
Questions to study from lecture
1. What are the characteristics of friendships? How are friendships
similar/different from love?
Characteristics/Attributes of Friends (SEVEN)
1. Acceptance = we want friends to accept us for who we are
2. Support = providing things for us when we need assistance
3. Enjoyment = we want friends we will have a good time with
4. Caring = we want friends to value/care for us
a. Caring does NOT mean support you can care without supporting
b. Ex: I am worried for you, but I won’t do anything for you to help
5. Trust = the more close you are with ppl, the more you self-disclose
. Self-disclose shows vulnerability and trustworthiness
6. Equality = rewards & costs should be same for both friends
7. Authenticity = no fake friends
Similarities Between Friendship and Love (FIVE)
1. Respect = the more you respect one another, the more satisfied you are
in relationship
a. Helps if you have similar/consistent moral standards
2. Trust = we assume our friend/romantic partner has our best interest
. Broken trust/betrayal is corrosive to relationship become
guarded/cautious (problematic)
3. Responsiveness = we want friends who are interested in our thoughts &
. Giving us attention, making us feel valued & appreciated generates
intimacy & self-disclosure
4. Capitalization = getting excited about our successes, makes us feel
. Ex: Announcing Engagement & they are super proud of you
5. Social Support = someone that steps up & gives you help in times of
need (THREE)
. Leads to better health/relationship
a. Emotional support: emotional reassurance, acceptance, affection
b. Advice support: provide guidance/advice on what to do differently
c. Material support: physical/tangible things that provides support (Ex:
money, car)
--> the best people to give good social support is Securely Attached
different ppl want different types of social support
Differences Between Friendship and Love (TWO)
1. Less complex feelings
a. Liking (friendship) vs. love (romantic relationship)
i.Love is more complex than just being friends
2. Less stringent standards & obligations
. Less expectations of loyalty for friends; higher expectation of loyalty
between romantic relationships
a. Romantic relationship is harder to dissolve than friendship
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.Easier to end friendship than relationship
b. Lack of overt expressions of positive emotions in friends
.Ex: less kissing, hugging
c. Friends are less exclusive
.You are allowed to have more than one friend
i.You must stay loyal to one person in romantic relationship
2. What are affinity-seeking strategies? (Bell & Daly) (ELEVEN)
- strategies based on what ppl think makes them attrative & have others
feel positive/like them
1. Be Of Help to Others (Altruism)
a. Unselfishness; be willing to help & provide things
b. Helps increase your likeness from other ppl
2. Appear in Control
. Be decisive, know what you want
a. Ppl like when you have control over your life
3. Present Self as Socially Equal
. Don’t try to one-up others
4. Present Self as Comfortable with Others
. Being awkward is unattractive, being confident is more attractive
5. Allow Others to Assume Control over Relational Activities
. Don’t be bossy & always choose what to do
a. Let others make choices in the relationship
6. Follow Cultural Rules
. Follow cultural customs b/c it’s more socially attractive
7. Appear Active, Enthusiastic, Dynamic
. No one likes someone who’s sad all the time
8. Stimulate & Encourage Others to Talk
. Ask ppl about themselves
9. Engage in Self-Disclosure
. Show others you’re willing to be vulnerable & open up
10. Appear Optimistic
. Positive framework in life
11. Appear to Others as Independent
. Individual opinions/beliefs
a. Ability to stand up to what you believe in
3. What are the levels of friendship development for children? (THREE)
- each level of development are built upon one another
1. Fair-weather cooperation = children learn to take the perspectives of
others & understand multiple point of views
a. Conflict management style is better when around others, but if conflict
is unresolved, they believe friendship is over
b. Interpersonal need fulfilled = acceptance
2. Intimate-mutual sharing = children learn about collaboration to serve
everyone’s mutual interests (middle school aged)
. Begin to understand intimacy, & having friends with similar interests
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a. Relationships can sustain & survive through conflicts
b. Interpersonal need fulfilled = intimacy
3. Autonomous interdependence = learn that we need multiple friends to
meet our emotional/psychological needs (teenagers)
. Children begin to think more about romantic interests
a. Interpersonal need fulfilled = sexuality
4. What are important sex differences for friendships? Individual
differences for friendship?
Sex Differences in Friendships
1. Women’s Friendship
a. Emotional sharing & self-disclosure
b. More feelings of affection
c. “Face to Face” Friendship
d. Women’s same-sex friendships tend to be closer & more intimate than
men’s are
2. Men’s Friendship
. Shared activities, companionship, fun
a. “Side to Side” Friendship
b. Less expression of feelings/emotional support
c. Impersonal conversations
Why? Very culturally specific to western culture
- traditional gender roles, social norms encourage emotional constraint for
Individuals Differences in Friendship
1. Relational Construal = whether relationships are part of your identity or
a. High Self-Construal = relationships define you, need more friends
b. Low Self-Construal = more independent, need less friends
2. Self-Monitoring = how aware of the environment you’re in & how effective
you are in picking up subtle context cues about what’s appropriate or not
for specific situations
. High Self-Monitor = “Activity Specialist”, better job at self-monitoring,
more friends but only similar in 1 aspect
a. Low Self-Monitor = less friends with more similarities, much closer to
those friends
5. How does friendship change across the lifespan (i.e., infancy to old
age)? (SIX)
1. Infancy = capable of simple complementary & reciprocity relationships w/
a. Age 2: infants learn to be cooperative w/ friends (bringing ideas together)
b. Age 3-5: learn to build things together (not super developed tasks)
c. Preschool: Child will have typical favorite playmate
2. Childhood (3 levels of development built upon one another)
. Fair-weather cooperation: children learn to take multiple perspectives
of others; manage conflict better
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