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PSYCH 2C03 (81)
Chapter 11

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Jennifer Ostovich

CHAPTER 11 ATTRACTION AND INTIMACY LIKING AND LOVING OTHERS need to belong motivation to bond with others in relationships that provide ongoing positive interactionstend to be healthierhappier when we feel supported by close intimate relationships people esp women respond to ostracism acts of excluding ignoring with depressed mood anxiety hurt feelings efforts to restore relationship and eventual withdrawal silent treatmentemotional abuse even being left out in simple game of ball tossingdeflated and stressed Ss left to feel excluded told that they were likely to end up alone later in life or that others whom theyd met didnt want them in their groupmore likely to engage in selfdefeating behaviours underperforming on aptitude test less abel to regulate behaviour deliver blast of noise to someone who had insulted themCyberostracism1486 participants from 62 countries participated in a webbased game of throwing a flying disc with two others computer generated fellow playersthose ostracized experienced poorer moods and became more likely to conform to others wrong judgements on a subsequent perceptual task Exhibited higher activity in a brain cortex area thats activated in response to physical pain seems like real pain William and 4 colleagues even found ostracism stressful when each of them was ignored for an agreedupon day by the unresponsive four othersdisrupted work interefered with pleasant social functioning High rates of aggression antisocial behaviour decreased willingness to cooperate and obey rules self destructive acts short term focus What leads to friendship and attractionProximitygeographical nearness functional distance Proximity powerfully predicts likingpowerful prediction of whether two people are friendscan also breed hostility most people marry someone who lives in the same neighbourhood or works at the same company or job or sits in the same class Interactionfunctional distance is critical how often peoples paths cross randomly assigned roommates who can hardly avoid frequent interaction are more likely to become friends than enemiesinteractions allows people to explore similarities to sense one anothers liking and to perceive themselves as a social unit want to make new friends get to places where people interact eg mailbox coffee pot etc with repeated exposurefall in love with almost anyone who has roughly similar chracteristics and who reciprocates our affection twins dont fall in love with the same personproximity breeds liking becauseavailability more opportunities convenientanticipated likingAnticipation of interactionmerely anticipating interaction boosts liking gave women ambiguous information about two other women one of whom they expected to talk with intimatelywomen preferred the person they expected to meet expecting to date someone boosts liking anticipatory liking expecting that someone will be pleasant and compatible increases chance of rewarding relationship biased to like those we often see good because we need to interact with people who we didnt choose to but are required to interact with eg roommates siblings Mere exposure familiarity fosters fondnessmereexposure effect the tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more or rated more positively after the rater has been repeatedly exposed to them students preferred the Turkish words which they had seen most frequently people prefer letters appearing in their own names and those that frequently appear in their own language French students rate the capital W least frequent letter in French as their least favourite letter Japanese students prefer letters from their names and numbers corresponding to their birth dates Name letter effect not just mere exposure but also liking things associated with oneselfViolates the prediction of decreased interest in repeatedly heard music or tasted foodsUnless repetitions are incessant liking usually increasesEiffel tower was mocked when it was completedtoday its the symbol Mere exposure breeds pleasant feelingsWhen people were shown a womans face their cheek muscle became more active with repeated viewings Are people simply delighted to see Mona Lisa because its a familiar faceExposure without awareness leads to liking mere exposure has stronger effect when people perceive stimuli wo awarenessWomen students using headphones listened in one ear to a prose passage repeated the words out loud and compared them to a written version to check for errorsbrief novel melodies played in the other ear Did not recall these melodies later when they were put together with others ones but did like these tunes the best Emotions are more primitive and instantaneous than thinkingImmediate disliking or liking somethingsomeone Mere exposure effect has adaptive significance Predisposes our attractions and attachmentsHelped ancestors categorize things and people as either familiarsafe or unfamiliarpossibly dangerous Colours our evaluation of others we like familiar people people we like also seem more familiar Negative our wariness of the unfamiliar automatic unconscious prejudice when confronting those who are different followed by stereotypesjustifications We like ourselves better when we are the way were used to seeing ourselves Photographed women students and showed each one her actual picture along w a mirror image of it Preferred the mirror image Close friends of the subjects preferred the true picture image they were used to seeing When people have no strong feelings about a productcandidaterepetition can increase salesvotes shoppers can have an automatic favourable response Physical attractivenessthe belief that looks are unimportant is an instance of how we deny real influences on usappearance does matter
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