Chapter 11.doc

62 views14 pages
Published on 18 Mar 2013
Department
CHAPTER 11: ATTRACTION AND INTIMACY: LIKING AND LOVING OTHERS
-need to belong: motivation to bond with others in relationships that provide ongoing,
positive interactions
- tend to be healthier/happier when we feel supported by close, intimate relationships
-people (esp women) respond to ostracism (acts of excluding, ignoring) with depressed
mood, anxiety, hurt feelings, efforts to restore relationship and eventual withdrawal
silent treatment emotional abuse
even being left out in simple game of ball tossing deflated and stressed
-Ss left to feel excluded (told that they were likely to end up alone later in life or that
others whom they’d met didn’t want them in their group) more likely to engage in
self-defeating behaviours (underperforming on aptitude test, less abel to regulate
behaviour, deliver blast of noise to someone who had insulted them)
- Cyberostracism
-1486 participants from 62 countries participated in a web-based game of throwing a
flying disc with two others (computer generated fellow players) those ostracized
experienced poorer moods and became more likely to conform to others’ wrong
judgements on a subsequent perceptual task
Exhibited higher activity in a brain cortex area that’s activated in response to
physical pain (seems like real pain)
-William and 4 colleagues even found ostracism stressful when each of them was ignored
for an agreed-upon day by the unresponsive four others disrupted work, interefered
with pleasant social functioning
- High rates of aggression, antisocial behaviour, decreased willingness to cooperate and
obey rules, self destructive acts, short term focus
What leads to friendship and attraction?
Proximity
- geographical nearness (functional distance). Proximity powerfully predicts liking
- powerful prediction of whether two people are friends
can also breed hostility
- most people marry someone who lives in the same neighbourhood or works at the same
company or job, or sits in the same class
Interaction
- functional distance is critical (how often people’s paths cross)
- randomly assigned roommates, who can hardly avoid frequent interaction, are more
likely to become friends than enemies
- interactions allows people to explore similarities, to sense one another’s liking and to
perceive themselves as a social unit
- want to make new friends- get to places where people interact (e.g. mailbox, coffee pot
etc)
-with repeated exposure fall in love with almost anyone who has roughly similar
chracteristics and who reciprocates our affection (twins don’t fall in love with the same
person)
- proximity breeds liking because
availability: more opportunities, convenient
anticipated liking
Anticipation of interaction
- merely anticipating interaction boosts liking
-gave women ambiguous information about two other women, one of whom they
expected to talk with intimately women preferred the person they expected to meet
- expecting to date someone boosts liking
Unlock document

This preview shows pages 1-3 of the document.
Unlock all 14 pages and 3 million more documents.

Already have an account? Log in
- anticipatory liking (expecting that someone will be pleasant and compatible) increases
chance of rewarding relationship
- biased to like those we often see- good because we need to interact with people who we
didn’t choose to but are “required to interact with” (e.g. roommates, siblings)
Mere exposure
- familiarity fosters fondness
-mere-exposure effect: the tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more or rated more
positively after the rater has been repeatedly exposed to them
- students preferred the Turkish words which they had seen most frequently
- people prefer letters appearing in their own names and those that frequently appear in
their own language
- French students rate the capital W (least frequent letter in French) as their least
favourite letter
- Japanese students prefer letters from their names, and numbers corresponding to their
birth dates
- Name letter effect (not just mere exposure but also liking things associated with oneself)
- Violates the prediction of decreased interest in repeatedly heard music or tasted foods
Unless repetitions are incessant, liking usually increases
-Eiffel tower was mocked when it was completed today it’s the symbol
- Mere exposure breeds pleasant feelings
When people were shown a woman’s face, their cheek muscle became more active
with repeated viewings
Are people simply delighted to see Mona Lisa because it’s a familiar face?
- Exposure without awareness leads to liking (mere exposure has stronger effect when
people perceive stimuli w/o awareness)
-Women students using headphones listened in one ear to a prose passage, repeated the
words out loud and compared them to a written version to check for errors brief, novel
melodies played in the other ear
Did not recall these melodies later when they were put together with others ones but
did like these tunes the best
- Emotions are more primitive and instantaneous than thinking
Immediate disliking or liking something/someone
- Mere exposure effect has adaptive significance
Predisposes our attractions and attachments
Helped ancestors categorize things and people as either familiar/safe or
unfamiliar/possibly dangerous
Colours our evaluation of others- we like familiar people (people we like also seem
more familiar)
- Negative: our wariness of the unfamiliar (automatic, unconscious prejudice when
confronting those who are different- followed by stereotypes/justifications)
- We like ourselves better when we are the way we’re used to seeing ourselves
- Photographed women students and showed each one her actual picture along w/ a
mirror image of it
Preferred the mirror image
Close friends of the subjects preferred the true picture (image they were used to
seeing)
-When people have no strong feelings about a product/candidate repetition can
increase sales/votes (shoppers can have an automatic, favourable response)
Physical attractiveness
-the belief that looks are unimportant is an instance of how we deny real influences on us
appearance does matter
Unlock document

This preview shows pages 1-3 of the document.
Unlock all 14 pages and 3 million more documents.

Already have an account? Log in
Attractiveness and dating
- young woman’s physical attractiveness is a moderately good predictor of how frequently
she dates
- women more than men say they would prefer a mate who’s homely and warm over one
who’s attractive and cold
-male and female students provided with various pieces of information about someone of
the other sex (including picture) or introduce man and women asked each about their
interest in dating the other
men put more value on physical attractiveness (plastic surgery)
- matched pairs randomly for a dance (after taking personality and aptitude tests)
personality and aptitude tests did not predict attraction, only physical attractiveness
did
both men and women preferred attractive partner
- asked men and women what they were looking for in an idea partner prior to speed
dating
men showed more interest in attractiveness than women
these preferences did not predict the partner they thought was ideal
the partner they wanted to see again was affected by partners’ attractiveness
The matching phenomenon
- the tendency for men and women to choose as partners those who are a “good
match” in attractiveness and other traits
- people select friends, especially marry those who are a good match to level of
intelligence and attractiveness
- those most similar in physical attractiveness were most likely, nine months later, to
have fallen more deeply in love
- less attractive person often has compensating qualities (unmatching couples)
- men typically offer wealth or status and seek youth and attractiveness; women
reverse
- beautiful young women often marry older men of higher social status
The physical-attractiveness stereotype
- people with both sexes avoided sitting next to the accomplice when she appeared
facially disfigured
- much adults are biased toward attractive adults, young children are biased toward
attractive children
- even 3 month old infants prefer attractive faces
- teachers perceive attractive child as more intelligent and successful in school
- we assume that beautiful people posses certain desirable traits (happier, sexually
warmer, more outgoing, intelligent, successful- but not more honest or concerned)
-physical-attractiveness stereotype: physically attractive people possess other
socially desirable traits as well: what is beautiful is good
children learn this early through stories (snow white and Cinderella are beautiful and
kind, the step sisters are ugly)
- students rated women after cosmetic surgery as more physically attractive after the
surgery, also as more kinder, more sensitive, sexually warm and responsive etc
-
First impressions
- attractiveness most affects first impressions (first impressions are becoming more
important)
- attractiveness and grooming affect first impressions in job interviews
attractive people and tall people have more prestigious jobs and make more money
going up the attractive scale, earned more
- even a 0.013 second exposure is enough to enable people ot guess a face’s
attractiveness
Unlock document

This preview shows pages 1-3 of the document.
Unlock all 14 pages and 3 million more documents.

Already have an account? Log in

Get OneClass Notes+

Unlimited access to class notes and textbook notes.

YearlyBest Value
75% OFF
$8 USD/m
Monthly
$30 USD/m
You will be charged $96 USD upfront and auto renewed at the end of each cycle. You may cancel anytime under Payment Settings. For more information, see our Terms and Privacy.
Payments are encrypted using 256-bit SSL. Powered by Stripe.