Textbook Notes (363,041)
Canada (158,169)
CYC 301 (15)
Chapter 9&10

IC - Chapter 9 & 10 Notes.docx

12 Pages
Unlock Document

Ryerson University
Child and Youth Care
CYC 301
Hangama Ahmadzai

CHAPTER 9 • The character and quality of interpersonal communication is affected, in turn, by the nature of the relationship • Arelationship is defined as a connection you establish when you communicate with another person. Every time you engage in interpersonal communication, you are in a relationship; but it is only through ongoing, reccuring interactions that you develop interpersonal relationships • An interpersonal relationship is a perception shared by two people of an ongoing connection that results in the development of relational expectations and varies in interpersonal intimacy • To be in an interpersonal relationship, both individuals must share a perception that they have an ongoing relationship • Sometimes, only one person believes there is a relationship • While each partner might recognise that he or she has a relationship with the other, that doesn't mean the partners think of the relationship in the same way • One difficulty often encountered in relationships is the discrepancy that exists in how each partner sees the relationship • Having a shared perception means interpersonal relationships are transactional; that is, both partners affect each other simultaneously.As a result, a change in one partner has a direct impact on the relationship and on the other people • An ongoing connection means that the interpersonal relationship is a process • As a process, the relationship is dynamic, constantly changing and evolving • Relationships are always moving to a new level and being redefined • As you interact with a person, you share a growing history together; as such, the relationship is cumulative • Processes are also irreversible - once something is done, it can't be undone. For example, you can't un-initiate, or take back an argument you've had in a relationship • While you can be forgiven, the argument will always have an impact on the partners and the relationship • As you continue to interact and develop your relationships, you also form relational expectations • Any time you interact with someone, you bring a set of preformed expectations based on your socialisation and experiences; but as you develop an interpersonal relationship, you and your partner establish expectations sepcific to that relationship (For example, you might have a friend with whom you primarily play video games; thus, you know what your time together will be like, how you'll talk, what you'll talk about, etc.) These expectations are part of the relationship process and are continually developing and changing. Sometimes, the expectations are violated, which can create turmoil in the relationship • Interpersonal intimacy is the degree to which relational partners mutually confirm and accept each other's sense of self • The closer the relationship, the more you depend on a partner to accept and confirm your sense of self; your partner does the same • As interpersonal intimacy increases, we are more and more able to just be ourselves and still feel accepted • In the most intimate relationships, our partners know our strengths and weaknesses but still accept us; they love us in spite of our flaws - we reach a point where we don't have to hide our flaws or fear rejection because of those flaws • During periods when we might not have very intimate relationships, it is sometimes hard to maintain a strong positive self-image • Research confirms that having strong social support networks is related to subjective well-being • Your self-image can only be confirmed when another person really knows who you are • That is one reason some theorists see self-disclosure as the most significant factor in moving people toward intimate relationships • We communicate our sense of intimacy to other sboth directly, through our words, and indirectly through actions • We might directly tell another perosn how we feel about him or her and how much we value the relationship, or we might choose an indirect way of expressing interpersonal intimacy, by, for instance, disclosing highly personal information • We also might use non-verbal cues, such as close physical proximity, eye contact, tone of voice, touch, and time spent interacting • Genesis is the coming into being of something • Some relationships come into being because of circumstances, while others come into being because we choose to pursue and develop them • Relationships of circumstance form not because we choose them but simply because our lives overlap with others' lives in some way • Relationships with family members, teachers, classmates, and co-workers fall into the "relationships of circumstance" category • When we seek out and intentionally develop a relationship with someone, it is a relationship of choice • We act and communicate differently in these two types of relationships because the stakes are different • If we act in foolish or inappropriate ways, a friend might end the relationship. If we act the same way within the confines of our family, our relatives may not like us much, but we will still remain family • Relationships of circumstance can also be relationships of choice: your brother or sister can also be your best friend • You can break off interacting with family members or quit your job to sever your relationships with fellow employees • In some sense, all relationships begin by circumstance; through circumstance, we become aware of another person • Interpersonal attraction is the degree to which you want to form or maintain an interpersonal relationship • The attraction that moves relationships of circumstance to relationships of choice differs sometimes from the type of attraction that sustains relationships once they are formed • Short-term initial attraction is the degree to which you sense a potential for developing an interpersonal relationship • Long-term maintanance attraction is the level of liking or positive feelings that motivate us to maintain or escalate a relationship • Through interpersonal communication, self-disclosure, and continued interactions, we learn information about others that either fosters or diminishes our long-term maintenance attraction to them • According to communication scholar Michael Sunnafrank's theory of predicted outcome value (POV), we assess the potential for any given relationship to meet our need for self-image confirmation and weigh that potential against the potential costs • We are attracted to others with whom a relationship may yield a high outcome value (the rewards might exceed the costs) • Attraction and interpersonal communication are interdependent; that is, each affects the other • Short-term initial attraction acts as the impetus to communicate interpersonally - it prompts us to interact with others • Proximity and physical appearance affect who we are attracted to PROXIMITY • You are probably going to start talking to whoever is standing closest to you • As you talk, you develop an impression of your partner, and you assess the interaction's POV - the potential for continuing a pleasant and rewarding conversation • Physical proximity increases communication opportunities • We are more likely to talk, and thefore to feel attracted to, neighbours who live right next door than to those who live down the block • Proximity has been found to be a more important factor in initial attraction, than in maintenance attraction PHYSICALAPPEARANCE • As you stand in the room full of people, you are also likely to approach people because of their physical apperance • Physical appearance, a form of non-verbal communication, provides us with information that again helps us make some decision about POV • It acts as a filter to reduce relationship possibilities • Similarity with another person creates an attraction because we assume the other person will have values and interests similar to ours • We use physical appearance to make predictions about who is most likely to reciprocate our overtures for conversation - that is, who is most likely to have something in common with us • Physical apperance is not a strong factor for long-term maintenance attraction • Sexual attraction also influences interest in forming relationships • In short-term sexual relationships, physical appearance tends to be more important than in long-term romantic relationships • However, in the process of meeting sexyal needs, people may develop long-term relationships • Research shows that sexual satisfaction is a significant factor in marital satisfaction • However, sexual attraction by itself is unlikely to serve as a foundation on which to build successful long-term intimate relationships • Research also shows that strong communication is associated with marital satisfaction, regardless of sexual satisfaction, among married couples • Some qualities serve both to lead us to initiate interactions and to sustain attraction as the relationship develops • Credibility, competence, and intelligence are related personal qualities that, in and of themselves, evoke attraction • Most of us are attracted to individuals who seem competent • We like those who are sure of themselves, but not full of themselves • Intelligence and competence is a more important predictor of initial attraction is eventual romantic relationships than in friendships • Acertain amount of openness and self-disclosure increases attraction • Similarly, an open display of attraction or liking for another person can result in a reciprocation of that attraction: we like those who like us • As relationships progress from initiation to intimacy, further openness increases attraction • Another study found that expressiveness and openness were among the most desirable qualities in a partner, regardless of the type of relationship • In addition, our attraction to another person increases our tendency to self- disclose • Reciprocation of liking means that we like those who like us • One way to get other people to reciprocate liking, particularly in romantic relationships, is to show that we like them • Perhaps we protect ourselves - or save face - by assuming the other person doesn't like us as much; it is probably less embarrassing to find out someone likes us more than we thought than to find out we've overestimated how much they like us SIMILARITIES • In general, we are attracted to people whose personalities, values, upbringing, personal experiences, attitudes, and interests bear some similarity to ours • Leslie Baxter and lee West indicate that the main reason for placing a positive value on similarity is because it facilitates communication • In the initial stages of a relationship, we try to emphasise positive information about ourselves to create a positive and attractive image • You save your revelations about important attitudes and issues for a later stage in the relational development process • Attitude similarity is more likely to be a source of long-term maintenance attraction than of short-term initial attraction • Similarity of interests and leisure activities appears more important in same-sex friendships than in opposite-sex relationships DIFFERENCESAND COMPLEMENTARY NEEDS • One reason we are drawn to people who are different from us is because we learn and grow by such exposure • People who are different from us expose us to new ideas, activities, and perspectives, and prompt self-assessment • Differences can also lead to points of conflict and hamper our ability to effectively communicate • People in a relationship have complementary needs, which means that we are attracted to those whose needs complement our own; one person's weakness is the other person's strength INTERPERSONALPOWER IN RELATIONSHIPS • As relationships move toward intimacy, partners often struggle with the question of who makes the decisions or with th
More Less

Related notes for CYC 301

Log In


Don't have an account?

Join OneClass

Access over 10 million pages of study
documents for 1.3 million courses.

Sign up

Join to view


By registering, I agree to the Terms and Privacy Policies
Already have an account?
Just a few more details

So we can recommend you notes for your school.

Reset Password

Please enter below the email address you registered with and we will send you a link to reset your password.

Add your courses

Get notes from the top students in your class.