BPK 140 Chapter Notes - Chapter 7: Casual Sex, Reciprocal Liking

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KIN 140 Book Notes
An Invitation to Health
Reading List 2
Chapter 7; pp. 166-178, pp. 180-183
Talking and Listening
- Communication is key!
- Expressing your feelings to your partner, friend, etc is essential
- Listening active process of trying to understand the other person’s feelings and motivations
Nonverbal Communication more than 90% of communication is nonverbal
- i.e. use of space or proximity, touch, eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, posture, physical
- can be interpreted differently depending on one’s culture
Friendship described as the bond of society
- Friends can be a basic source of happiness, a larger connection to the world, a source of solace in
times of trouble
- For men, friendship with a woman offers support and nurturance
- Women view their friendships with men as more light-hearted and casual, with more joking and
less fear of hurt feelings
o Girls especially like gaining insight on men
- Friends with benefits (FWB) relationships between friends who have sex
o 60% of individuals surveyed had had this type of relationship
o While there was no commitment for romance, the benefits included trust and comfort
Hooking Up sexual activity with a casual partner who may be a friend or stranger
- Agreement that there is no exclusivity or commitment
- Studies on psychosocial and physiological health of university students effects of casual sex
o Persistent depressive symptoms in young women
o Regret in females often felt shame and self-blame, anger at themselves
o Regret in males linked to disappointment at having chosen an unattractive or undesirable
hookup or a partner who was labeled as promiscuous
o Men reported more positive and less negative emotional reactions to hooking up
o 80% of students surveyed reported that alcohol use was involved
Dating any occasion during which two people share their time
- Internet dating main problem was trust and deception
What causes romantic attraction?
Romantic attraction characterized by a high level of emotional arousal, reciprocal liking, and mutual
sexual desire
- Most important predictors warmth, kindness, desirable personality, something specific about the
person, and reciprocal liking
- Average life span of romantic attraction is 2 years
Sternberg’s Love Triangle… three components of love
Mature Love
- A romantic relationship shows promise if….
o You feel at ease with your new partner
o You feel good about your new partner when you're together and when you're not
o Your partner is open with you about his or her life past, present, and future
o You can say no to each other without feeling guilty
o You feel cared for, appreciated, and accepted as you are
o Your partner really listens to what you have to say
- The Five Love Languages (Chapman)
o Words of Affirmation compliments, words of appreciation, etc
o Quality Time
o Giving Gifts
o Acts of Service housework, cooking dinner, etc
o Physical Touch