Textbook - Chapter 3 (Getting Together)

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Family Relations and Human Development
FRHD 1020
Sarah Murray

Class FRHD1020 Couple and Family RelationshipsProfessorS MurrayTextbookThe Family DynamicA Canadian Perspective Fifth EditionAuthorsMargaret Ward and Marc BelangerPublisherNelsonISBN 9780176502003Chapter 3Getting TogetherLearning ObjectivesTo point out variations in how families are formedTo locate mate selection in the family life cycleTo present arranged and love matches in a social and historical perspectiveTo explain factors affecting presentday mate selectionTo look at the lifestyle of the nevermarriedTo explore how love relationships developTo outline some problem areas in relationships before marriage and to describe methods of marriage preparationFor many happily ever after is just an illusionThe reality is both more ordinary and more complexMarriage is the norm in our society and is encouragedrelatives advertising popular culture social life organized around couplesMany realize marriage may not meet a persons needsTraditional marriage puts needs of husband and children firstNo longer need to marry to have childrenSetting the family cycle turningCourtship mate selectionprocess of choosing a partner to share ones life withErik Eriksonyoung adulthoodintimacy which develops when both people in a relationship feel understood cared for and valued by the otherSecond developmental taskbuilding the foundation for couples relationship communication verbal or nonverbal trustPattern of relationshipssymbolicinteraction established from earliest interchanges between partnersIn societies where couples do not have free choice of a partner the basis of the relationship is also established before the marriageMate selection and societyCourtships divided into two basic streams a those decided by the couple and b those decided by the families of the couple both tied to values and traditions of he cultures that support themFamilies provide principal social security system membership and responsibilitiesAsian Indian familiesmen expected to provide financial support for families as well as needy relativesif father dies son or brother resumes the role of supporting his widow and children women are devalued wellbeing of family takes priority over individual happiness rigid system of social and occupational status Meansmarriages are arrangedNorth American culture values individual achievementresponsible for own success and for wellbeing of familyBoth sexes are valuedFamily ends to be defined more narrowly where society fills the gap if social security is weakPick own mate fits culture of individuality and selfsufficiencyIn both instances close links between macrosystem culture and exosystem mesosystem and microsystemCultural values norms and roles are maintained through socializationSymbolicinteraction socialization occurs in daytoday transactions with those around usThe courtship continuumSelfchosen and arranged marriages treated differently but lie along a continuum Completely arranged marriagesCompletely selfchosen unionsMarriage as exchange Marriage as shared emotion
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