Chapter 6.pdf

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Family Relations and Human Development
FRHD 2100
Cynthia Clark

Chapter 6 – Attraction and Love Attraction Similarity Hypothesis: Who's Right For you? • The concept that people tend to develop romantic relationships with those whose levels of attractiveness are similar to their own • Researchers found that people in committed relationships are likely to be similar to their partners in terms of attitudes and cultural attributes • Our partners tends to resemble us in race and ethnicity, age, level of educaiton and religion • 95% of Canadians choose partners from their own racial backgrounds Do OppositeAttract, or Do Birds of a Feather Flock Together? • Opposites do no attraction • Why do the great majority of us have partners from our own backgrounds? ◦ One reason Propinquity – proximity ◦ Another reason is that we're drawn to people whose attitudes are similar to our own • Similarity in attitdues and tastes is a key contributor to attraction, friendships and love relationships • Note a sex difference: Evidence show that women are more likely than men to place greater weight on similar attitudes as a determinant of attraction, whereas men are likely to place more value on physical attractiveness Reciprocity: If You Like Me, You Must Hve Excellent Judgement • When we feel admired and complimented, we tend to return these feelings and behaviours ◦ Also known as reciprocity • Reciprocity is a potent determinant of attraction • We tend to be much more warm, helpful and candid when we're with strangers who seem to like us • We tend to welcome positive comments that we know are inaccurate • The power of reciprocity enable many couples to become happy with one another PhysicalAttractiveness: How Important Is It to Look Good? • Research shows that physical attractiveness is a major determinant of interpersonal and sexual attraction • Some researchers, contend that physical appearance is the key factor in consideration of partners for dates, sex, and long-term relationships • The importance of physical attractiveness is perhaps acentuated by the “What's beautiful is good” effect ◦ This is a tendency for people to assume attractive people have more socially desirabel personalities and are more likely to be happier and more successful than less attractive people • What determines physical attractiveness? ◦ African peoples, long necks and round, disc-like lips are signs of feminine beauty. Women therefore stretch their necks and lips to make themsevels more appealing ◦ Women of the Nama culture persistently tug at their labia majora to make them beautiful – that is, prominent and elongated ◦ In general, women around the world consider taller men to be more attractive ◦ Height can play a role in mate choice because it suggest social dominance, status, access to resources and a positive heritable trait ◦ Undergraduate NorthAmerican women prefer to date men who are about 15 cm taller than they are themselves ◦ Undergraduate men, prefer women who are about 11 cm shorter • Gender-role expectation may affect perceptions of attractiveness ◦ Women are more likely to be attracted to socially dominant men than men are to be attracted to socially dominant women • In one study ◦ The women found men who acted outgoing and self-expressive more appealing than men who were passive, while the men were put off by outgoing, self-expensive women • In another study ◦ Highly feminine women were more likely than less feminine women to be attracted to dominant, “macho” men • In another study ◦ Women rated videos of dominant college men as more appealing than submissive men ◦ Male viewers were put off by similarly dominant women ◦ Men are more likely to be jealous of socially dominant men, whereas women are more likely to be jealous of physically attractive women What Do You Look For In ARelationship? • Women place greater emphasis than men on such traits such as vocational status, earning potential, expressiveness, kindness, consideration, dependability and fondness for children • Men give relatibely more consideration to youth, physical attractiveness, cooking ability and frugality • Women rated responsibility as more important in a future spouse than men did, whereas men rated physical attractiveness as more important than women did • Women thought physical attractiveness was more important than men did • Both men and women rated responsibility as most importatnt when choosing a future spouse, followed by physical attractiveness, sexual skill and status or popularity • In 2005, a compas survey found: ◦ Men valued only one characteristic more than the women did: “Good-looking” ◦ Women valued such traits as “manages money well”, “is financially successful”, “is well educated and intelligent” and “shares your religion” more highly than the men did 2 & 3. Learn about how different perspectives and theories such as evolutionary psychology attraction-similarity hypothesis view love and attractivenessAND develop an understanding of the historical developments of love and attraction, specific Greek concepts of storge, agape, philia, and eros, and apply these historical perspective to current day understandings An Evolutionary Perspective on Mate Preference • Most of us would agree that the emphasis on phyiscal beauty for women and economic power and professional status for men as primary indicators of attractiveness is a strong reflection of a patriarchal society • Some evolutionary pscyhologists believe evoluntionary forces favour the continuation of gender differences in mate preference, beacuse certain perferred traits offer reproducitve advantages • Cleanliness, good complexion, clear eyes, good teeth, good hair, firm muscle tone, and a steady gait are universally appealing to both genders, because they're markers of reproductive potential Love AGreek Heritage • Storge (STORE-gay): Loving attachment and nonsexual affection. This is the type of emotiona that binds parents to children • Agape: Selfless love. This kind of love is similar to generosity and charity • Philia (FEEL-yah): Love between friends. This kind of love is based on liking and respect, rather than sexual desire • Eros: The kind of love that's closest to our modern-day concept of passion ◦ IT embraces sudden passionate desire – love at first sight, and falling head over heels in love ◦ Younger university student are more likely to beleive in love at first sigh and that love conquers all than older students Romantic Love • Strong seuxal arousal together with idealized images of the objects of our desires leads us to label our feelings “love” • Being “in love” ennobles attraction and sexual arousal • Women more often than men are expected to justify their sexual experiences as involving people they love • Young men usually needn't attribute their sexual urges to love, and are therefore more likely to deem love a “mushy” concept • Around half Canadians (59% of the men and 51% of the women surveyed) beleived in love at first sight • 38% said they'd actually experienced it • 98% said they'd been in love at least once Infatuation Versus True Love • Astate of intense absorption in or focus on anothe p
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