Chapter 7.pdf

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Family Relations and Human Development
FRHD 2100
Cynthia Clark

Chapter 7 - Relationsihps, Intimacy and Communication 1. Explain the similarities and differences between the different models of relationships, such as that proposed by Levinger TheABC(DE)s of Romantic Relationships Social-Exchange Theory: The view that a relationship's development reflects the unfolding of social exchanges – that is, the rewards and costs of maintaining the relationship, as opposed to those of ending it ABCDE Model: Levinger's view, which approaches romantic relationships in terms of five stages: Attraction, building, continuation, deterioration, and ending Attraction • Occurs when two people become aware of and find one another appealing or enticing • May find ourselves attracted to an enchanting person across a crowded room, in a nearby office, or in a new class • May meet others through blind dates, introductions by mutual friends, comuter match-ups, or by accident Building • Building a relationsihp follows initial attraction • Factors that motiavte us to build a relationship include similarity in level of physical attraction, similarity in attitudes and interests, and a generally positive evaluation of the partner • Factors that may deter us from trying to build a relationship include lack of physical appeal, dissimilarity in attitudes and mutually negative evaulation Continuation • Arelationship typically then enters a stage of continuation, during which established patterns of interaction remain relatively stable • While these patterns often continue, they don't remain entirely static • Within this stage, a relationship will mature and evolve as time passes and circumstances change • Arelationsihp in the continuation stage doesn't balance the stability of established patterns of intimacy and communciation with the need for ongoing adaptation and development may enter a stage of deterioration Deterioration • This stage begins when the relationship becomes less rewarding than it was • Acouple can respond to deteriroation actively or passively • Active means of response include doing something that may enhance the relationship or deciding to end the relationsihp • Passive methods of response include merely waiting for something to happen, doing little or nothing • The couple can sit back and wait for the relationsihp to improve on its own Ending • According to social-exchnage theory, relationships draw to a close when the partners find little satisfaction in the affiliation, when the barriers to leaving the relationship are low and when alternative partners are available • Various factors can save deteriorating ◦ For example, people who continue to find some source of satisaction, are commited to maintaining the relationship, or beleive they'll eventually be able to overcome their problems are more likely to invest what they must to prevent the collapse Not-So-Small Talk:AnAudition ForARelationship • Small Talk:Asuperficial kind of conversation that allows exhcnage of information but stresses breadth of topic coverage rather than in-depth discussion • It is a trial balloon for friendships • Sucessful small talk encourages a couple to venture beneath the surface The Opening Line • One kind of small talk is the greeting or opening line • Usually precede verbal greetings with eye contact and decide to begin talking if this eye contact is reciprocated • Avoidance of eye contact may mean the person is shy, but it could also signify lack of interest • Some types of opening lines: ◦ Verbal salutes, such as good morning ◦ Personal inquiries such as how are you doing ◦ Compliments such as I like your outfit ◦ References to your mutual surroundings such as what do you think of tha tpainting or this is a nice apartment house isn't it ◦ References to people or events outside the immediate setting ◦ References to the other person's behaviour ◦ References to your own behaviour or to yourself Exchanging Name,Rank and Serial Number • likely include name, occupation, marital status and hometown • This has been likened to exchanging “name, rank, and seriel number” with the other person • If the other person is unresponsive, she or he may not be attracted to you • Back then, women rarelu approached men to signal romantic interest or initiate relationships • Today, many women in developed nations do precisely that • Both women and men rate direct opening lines- lines that signal interest – a most effective in launching relationships Dating in the Era of New Communication Technologies • Wentland, Muise, and Desmarais (2010) found that in many respects, traditional gender roles were still in place • For example, 71% of the students in the survey agreed that it was part of the dating scropt for men to pay for the bill, but only 41% said it was part of the script for women • 71.3% agreed that wearing sexy underwear was part of the dating script for women, but only 1.4% said it was part of the script for men • Most students indicated that getting to know a potential dating partner via email or texting was part of the dating script for both men and women rather than for one gender in particular Self-Disclosure You Tell Me and I'll Tell You ... carefully • Self-Disclosure: The revelation of personal – perhaps intimate information • Research suggests that we should refrain from disclosing certain types of information too rapidly if we want to make a good impression • We may say we value openness and honesty in our relationships, but it may be a social mistake to open up too soon Self-Disclosure on Dating Websites • Rapid self-disclosure seems to be something of a new norm when people in cyberspace • Cyberspace allows for relative anonymity and enables people in control what they want to reveal • May continue to build gradully through the course of a relationship as the partners come to trust each other enough to share confidences and more intimate feelings • Researchers find that women are only slightly more reavealing about themselves than men are • 86% disclosed to their friends – ages 18 and 19 Sex Differencs in Self-Disclosure • Researchers find that masculine-typed (i.e.Agressive, assertive) individuals, whether male or female, tend to be less willing to disclose their feelings, perhaps in adherence to the traditional “strong and silent” masculine stereotype • Susan Basow and Kimberly Rubenfeld (2003) found that feminine-typed (i.e. Expressive, nurturing) individuals are more likely to be empathetic and to listen to other people's troubles than masucline-typed individuals, regardless of their anatomix sex Sexual Self-Disclosure • Found that individuals who disclose more about their sexual likes and dislikes report higher sexual satisfaction • For men, there was a direct relationship between sexual disclosure and sexual satisfaction • For women, disclosing about non-sexual issues seemed to be more important – women who could freely disclose about other aspects of their relationship were more satisfied with their relationships in general Sexual Initiation • it is stereotypically considered to man's role • Men initiated sex twice as often as women did • Men also consid
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