FRHD 2100 Chapter Notes - Chapter 7: Sexual Jealousy, Social Exchange Theory, Gay Bar

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Published on 13 Aug 2012
School
University of Guelph
Department
Family Relations and Human Development
Course
FRHD 2100
Professor
Chapter 7 Relationships, Intimacy, and Communication
The ABC(DE)’s of Romantic Relationships
Social Exchange Theory: the view that the development of a relationship reflects
the unfolding of social exchanges that is, the rewards and costs of maintaining the
relationship as opposed to those of ending it
ABCDE Model: Levinger’s view, which approaches romantic relationships in terms
of five stages: Attraction, Building, Continuation, Deterioration, and Ending
The internet has become one of the most popular places to meet potential
dating and sexual partners
In a survey of gay an lesbian men on Ontario, 35% reported they had met a
sexual partner online within the previous six months
By far the most common meeting place was the gay bar though
Men are more likely than women to go online to meet potential dating
partners, women are more likely than men to sign up with introduction
agencies
Numerous events focused on bringing singles together
Small Talk
Small Talk: a superficial kind of conversation that allows exchange of information
but stresses breadth of topic coverage rather than in-depth discussion
Successful small talk encourages a couple to venture beneath the surface
“Opening Line”: How to get things started
One kind of small talk is the greeting, or opening lone
We usually precede verbal greetings with eye contact and decide to begin
talking if this eye contact is reciprocated
Exchanging “Name, Rank, and Serial Number”
Early exchanges are likely to include name, occupation, marital status, and
hometown
An unspoken rule seems to be at work: “If I provide you with some
information about myself, you will reciprocate by giving me an equal amount
of information about yourself”
Self-Disclosure: the revelation of personal perhaps intimate information
Research suggests that we should refrain from disclosing certain types of
information too rapidly if we want to make a good impression
Rapid self-disclosure seems to be something of a new norm when people
meet in cyberspace
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Cyberspace allows for relative anonymity and enables people to control what
they want to reveal to safeguard their privacy even as they increase their
emotional closeness and openness
Self-disclosure may continue to build gradually through the course of a
relationship as partners come to trust each other enough to share
confidences and more intimate feelings
Women state that they are much more revealing about their sex lives on the
web than they are in real life
Apparent disclosure is not always honest
Some people select information carefully to manipulate others, and even
invent the stories they “disclose”
Men with higher scores on a test of psychotherapy were more likely t use
deception both in sexual and nonsexual situations
These men were also more likely to have a history of unstable sexual
relationships
Sex Differences in Self-Disclosure
Women commonly declare that men are loath to express their feelings
Researchers find that masculine-typed individuals, whether male or female,
tend to be less willing to disclose their feelings, perhaps in adherence to the
traditional masculine stereotype
Students disclosed to their dating partners more about nonsexual than
sexual issues and more about their sexual likes than their sexual dislikes
A key factor in the amount of disclosure was whether the partner was also
disclosing
Those who were more open were more satisfied with their level of sexual
communication, and ultimately with their sexual relationship
For men, there was a direct relationship between sexual disclosure and
sexual satisfaction
For women, disclosing about nonsexual issues seemed to be more important
Those who felt guilty about their sexuality were less disclosing
Sexual Initiation
Initiating sex is stereotypically considered to be the male’s role
Men initiated sex twice as often as did women
Men refused invitations to have sex proportionally as often as did the women
Women accepted sexual initiations as often as did the men
Men initiated sex more often than women
Invitations were mainly in the form of nonverbal gestures or indirect verbal
offers
About half the women said they would directly ask their partner to have sex
The most common strategies which more than 90% said they would use,
included arranging an opportunity to be alone with him, paying a lot of
attention to him, and touching him affectionately
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