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Chapter 10

PSY220H1 Chapter 10: Chapter 10 PSY220

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Dan Dolderman

Chapter 10: Relationships and Attraction Importance of Relationships:  Arguments for the Need to Belong o Evolutionary Basis  Help survive and reproduce  Universal behaviors in humans  Need therefore satiable  Students 6 meaningful friends  Inmates loose family, form surrogate family  Evidence for the Need to Belong o Vital for physical and mental health o w/o can have negative effects  Rhesus Monkey Experiment  Raised w.o real relationships  Fearful, couldn't interact, inappropriate sexual behaviors as adolescents  Same experiment with Elephants  Higher mortality in divorced or single people, 3-23X higher psychological problem, higher suicid and crime rates  Relationships and the Sense of Self o Relations shape sense of self o Meet someone similar to SO, behave like we would with significant other: assosiated beliefs, feelings and expectations, shape interaction with new person o Hinkley and Anderson experiment  Think of SO, write about self, 2 weeks late think about someone similar to SO, write about self  Writing about self very similar o Meeting people who remind us of SO change how we think about ourselves o Resemblance shapes interactions  Meet X like SO (+), I like X, act (+), X acts (+) back Types of Relationships  Communal and Exchange Relationships o Communal Relationships  Feel sense of responsibility to other  Give and receive based of principle of need  Long term, close friends, family, villages o Exchange Relationships  Based on equity and reciprocity, little responsibility  Sales people and businessmen o Cultural diffs  Latin and Asian like communal, WE + NA like exchange  How would 15 year employee be treated?  Catholic more communal then protestant  Reward and Social Exchange Theories of Interpersonal Relationships o All relationships about benefit cost o People like those who give rewards and make feel good  Doesn’t have to be immediate rewards o Social Exchange Theory  All relationships have cost and benefit  People evaluate relationships based on cost vs reward o Equity Theory  People motivated to pursue fairness in relationships  Rewards and cost shared roughly equally  Attachment Theory o Our early like relationships with parents shape relations for whole life o Infants need parents at young age o Children develop working model of relationships based on parental interactions o Experiment  Parents who showed lots of love had kids who were okay being left alone and exploring new area  Parents not so relaiable had anxious kids who cried in new area and less comforted when parent returned  Parents who rejected had kids how didn’t really seek out caregiver, reject attention when offered o Attachment styles:  Secure Attachment Style  Secure in relationships, like intimacy, like others during threat or uncertainty  Anxious-Preoccupied Style  Clingy, (-) view of self, value and seek intimacy  Dismissive-Avoidant Style  Independent, self-reliant, seek less intimacy, deny importance of relationships  Fearful-Avoidant Style  Ambivalence and discomfort towards relationships, desire intimacy but feel unworthy and so don’t seek. o Stability of Styles  Established early, life long  Anxious people more likely to have had bad event in early life  Conflict in home at 21 more likely to be avoidant and 52  Secure had better relationship satisfaction  Less breakups then avoidant people  Anxious have drug, depression, eating disorders  Secure more likely to be married at 52  Different styles can be in diff relationships  C
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