Women's Studies 2161A/B Chapter Notes - Chapter 5: Late Show Top Ten List, Guy Code, Homosociality
30 Apr 2018
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“Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code:
• Nobody can tell me what it means to be a women anymore- q still meaningful and
powerful for men
• “Real Guy’s Top Ten List”- what guys say to q:
o Boys don’t cry
o Its better to be mad than sad
o Don’t get mad-get even
o Take it like a man
o He who has most toys when dies, wins
o Just do it/ ride or die
o Size matters
o I don’t stop to ask for directions
o Nice guys finish last
o It’s all good
• Unifying emotional subtext involves never showing emotions/ admitting weakness,
everything fine, winning crucial esp over others less amazing/ smaller toys and kindness
and compassion taboo
• Guy code- collection attitudes, values and traits together composes what means to be man
• 4 basic rules masculinity: (haven’t changed from 1976)
o No sissy stuff- being a man means not being sissy, not being perceived weak,
effeminate/ gay. Masculinity relentless repudiation of fem
o Be a big wheel- refers centrality succ and power in def masculinity. Masculinity
measures more by wealth, power and status than by part body part
o Be a sturdy oak- reliable in crisis= not able respond fully and appropriately to sit
at hand, resembles inanimate object
o Give ‘em hell- aura daring and aggression- live life on edge, take risks, go for it,
pay no attention what others think
Being a man among men:
• Guys hear voices men in their lives- fathers, coaches, bros, grandfathers, uncles, priests-
to inform ideas masculinity
• Idea masculinity in America previous book men subscribe to these ideals not b/c want to
impress women, let alone any inner drive/ desires test themselves against some abstract
stands but b/c want to be positively eval other men- masculinity largely “homosocial”
exp: perf for and judged, by other men
• Women often become kind of currency which men negotiate their status w other men,
women are for possessing, not for emulating
The gender police:
• Peers kind of gender police, always waiting us screw up so can give ticket for crossing
well-drawn boundaries manhood
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• Efforts maintain manly front cover everything do- every mannerism, every moment cont
coded gender lang
• List names called if step outside def masculinity so effortlessly gen, so consistent, it
composes national well from which draw epithets and put-downs
• “That’s so gay” most common put down in middle/high school- become free-floating put-
down, meaning dumb, bad, stupid, wrong
• Standard list stereotypically effeminate behavs= know someone gay- men focus on
physical aspects and women on emotional
• Everyone perceived gay goes into what might call Neg Playbook of Guyland- avoid
everything might make you seem gay
• Homophobia- fear people might misperceive you as gay- animating fear of American
guy’s masculinity- what lies underneath crazy risk-taking behavs practiced by boys all
ages, what drives fear other guy will see you as weak, unmanly, frightened
• Single cardinal rule manhood, one from all other charact- wealth, power, status, strength,
physicality- derived is to offer proof not gay
• Homophobia fear of other men- other men will perceive you as failure, fraud, see weak,
unmanly, frightened
• Homosexuality kind shorthand for unmanliness- homophobia defines and animates daily
convos Guyland at least as much about masculinity as is about sexuality
• Guys know risk everything- friendships, sense of self, maybe even their lives- if fail to
conform- since stakes so enormous, young men take huge chances prove manhood,
exposing themselves to health risks, workplace hazards and stress-rel illnesses
• Safety is emasculating- so drink too much, drive too fast and play chicken many
dangerous venues
• Theories of bio claim def masculinity hard-wired, result millennia evol adaption/ behav
response waves agg-prod testosterone and therefore inevitable- theories fail account way
masculinity coerced and policed relentlessly other guys
Boys’ psychological development: Where the guy code begins:
• Masculinity constant test- always up for grabs, always needing to be proved and testing
starts early
• Ever since Freud, believed key boy’s dev separation, boy must switch ident from mom to
father in order to become a man- achieves masculinity by repudiation, dissociation and
then ident= perilous path, but nec, even though nothing inevitable about it- and nothing
biological either
• Boys learn connection to mom will emasculate them and turn them into Mama’s Boys-
learn act as if made leap by pushing away from moms- suppress all feelings ass w
maternal- compassion nurturance, vul and dependency (origin Boy Code)
• From early age boys taught refrain from crying, suppress emotions, never display vul-
result feel effeminate not only express emotions but even if feel them
• Culture of cruelty- peers force other boys to deny their emotional needs and disguise their
feelings
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