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Chapter 4

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York University
PSYC 2120

1. There is a biologically based need to belong, evident in the evolutionary benefits and universality of different relationships and in the negative consequences that accompany the absence of relationships, as shown by the deficits in feral children. 2. Relationships shape the sense of self and how social events are remembered and explained. People all have certain relational selves, or beliefs, feelings, and expectations that derive from their relationships with particular other people. When one of these is activated by a particular person, the person is seen in the light of the relevant relational self. Relationships affect personal well-being on a moment-to-moment basis. 3. John Bowlby's attachment theory holds that, early in development, children rely on their parents for a sense of security. Some children are luckier in these formative relationships than others. People having a secure attachment style are comfortable with intimacy and wish to be close to other people when they are stressed. People having an avoidant attachment style feel insecure in relationships and distance themselves from others. People who have an anxious attachment style are also insecure in relationships but respond to this insecurity by compulsively seeking closeness and by obsessing about the quality of their relations with others. 4. Researchers have discovered that attachment styles are quite stable over the lifespan. Secure, anxious, and avoidant individuals live quite different lives, enjoying different levels of relationship satisfaction (securely attached individuals are the most satisfied and the least likely to break up) and suffering different kinds of difficulties (anxiously attached individuals are particularly prone to psychological problems). 5. Fiske's relational models theory posits that there are four different kinds of relational styles: (a) the communal sharing, family-lik
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