1. There is a biologically based need to belong, evident in the evolutionary benefits and
universality of different relationships and in the negative consequences that accompany the
absence of relationships, as shown by the deficits in feral children.
2. Relationships shape the sense of self and how social events are remembered and explained.
People all have certain relational selves, or beliefs, feelings, and expectations that derive from
their relationships with particular other people. When one of these is activated by a particular
person, the person is seen in the light of the relevant relational self. Relationships affect
personal well-being on a moment-to-moment basis.
3. John Bowlby's attachment theory holds that, early in development, children rely on their
parents for a sense of security. Some children are luckier in these formative relationships than
others. People having a secure attachment style are comfortable with intimacy and wish to be
close to other people when they are stressed. People having an avoidant attachment style feel
insecure in relationships and distance themselves from others. People who have an anxious
attachment style are also insecure in relationships but respond to this insecurity by
compulsively seeking closeness and by obsessing about the quality of their relations with
4. Researchers have discovered that attachment styles are quite stable over the lifespan. Secure,
anxious, and avoidant individuals live quite different lives, enjoying different levels of
relationship satisfaction (securely attached individuals are the most satisfied and the least likely
to break up) and suffering different kinds of difficulties (anxiously attached individuals are
particularly prone to psychological problems).
5. Fiske's relational models theory posits that there are four different kinds of relational styles: (a)
the communal sharing, family-lik