COMM227 Chapter Notes - Chapter 1: Vagal Tone
1 Jun 2018
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Ch 1: Emotion Coaching
● Good parenting involves emotion
● “Emotional intelligence” means being aware of your child’s feelings, and being able to
empathize, soothe, and guide them
● Most parents fall into one of the two broad categories
○ Those who give their children guidance about the world of emotion and those
who don’t
● Parents as emotional coaches
○ They accept neg emotions as a fact of life and use emotional moments as
opportunities for teaching their kids important life lessons and building closer
relationships
● Types of parents who fail to teach their kids emotional intelligence
○ Dismissing parents: disregard, ignore, or trivialize children’s neg emotions
○ Disapproving parents: critical of their children’s displays of negative feelings
○ Laissez-faire parents: accept their children’s emotions and empathize with them
but fail to offer guidance or set limits
● The parents response process
○ Become aware of the child’s emotion
○ Recognize the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
○ Listen empathetically, validating the child’s feelings
○ Help the child find words to label the emotion he is having
○ Sets limits while exploring strategies to solve the problem at hand
● When mothers and fathers use a coaching style of parenting, their children become
more resilient
● Emotion coaching can protect kids from the proven harmful effects of marital conflict
● When dads adopt an emotion-coaching style of parenting, it has an extremely positive
impact on their children’s emotional development
● Father’s influence is more extreme
● Parents have to do more today than provide kids with basic nurturing, good education,
and strong moral ethic
○ Must also concern themselves with some of the most basic survival issues
● Children are drawn into antisocial, delinquent behavior as a result of problems in their
family environment
● Kids who can feel their parents’ love and support are better protected from the threats of
youth violence, antisocial behavior, drug addiction, premature sexual activity, adolescent
suicide, and other social ills
● Preschoolers typically demand that their caretakers deal with some kind of need or
desire at an average rate of three times a minute
● Authoritative style of parenting
○ Set limits but are considerably more flexible, providing their children with
explanations and lots of warmth
Document Summary
Emotional intelligence means being aware of your child"s feelings, and being able to empathize, soothe, and guide them. Most parents fall into one of the two broad categories. Those who give their children guidance about the world of emotion and those who don"t. They accept neg emotions as a fact of life and use emotional moments as opportunities for teaching their kids important life lessons and building closer relationships. Types of parents who fail to teach their kids emotional intelligence. Dismissing parents: disregard, ignore, or trivialize children"s neg emotions. Disapproving parents: critical of their children"s displays of negative feelings. Laissez-faire parents: accept their children"s emotions and empathize with them but fail to offer guidance or set limits. Recognize the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching. Help the child find words to label the emotion he is having. Sets limits while exploring strategies to solve the problem at hand.
