PSY 3123 Lecture Notes - Lecture 12: Grater, Joint Custody, Noncustodial Parent
28 Apr 2018
School
Department
Course
Professor
March 7, 2018
Coming Apart - The Divorce Experience
Introduction
Divorce: the legal dissolution of a marriage
Divorce is the most common deviation from the traditional family life cycle
-Divorced families add 2 or 3 phases to the life cycle - separation, perhaps remarriage, stabilization into a new
family pattern
Divorce is not uniform and should not be oversimplified
-In practice, the divorce experience is quite diverse for couple and their families
A Short History
Divorce rate: a measure the predicts the proportion of couples that can be expected to divorce before their 30th
wedding anniversary, based on current patterns of divorce
-Greatly increased after WWII when women replaced men in the workforce and gained more freedom and financial
independence
-Soon, however, the divorce rate dropped of when in the stability following the war, people married in increasing
numbers and the idea of family was very attractive
-Amendments to the law allowing divorce on the grounds of marriage breakdown and to decrease the waiting period
also caused divorce rates to jump
-Peaked in 1987, declined until 1997 and then remained stable
Divorce is increasingly common at midlife
-Kids put increasing strain on the relationship - not as much time for the couple, can lead to conflict
-After children have left family home and couples have time to reassess marriage
Many of these “silver separations” initiated by women
-Most feel relief at leaving an unfulfilling relationship
-Divorce can be difficult for a homemaker wife who has been out of paid workforce for many years
-Some see divorce as a personal failure because they did not make their marriage work
The Divorce Act recognizes three legal grounds for divorce: cruelty, adultery, or being separated for one year
-Separated for one year is most common because it’s the easiest to prove
Older people (50+) have the most lenient attitudes about divorce - may reflect their grater experience of married life
1
March 7, 2018
Why People Divorce
Researchers have identified three kinds of reasons people divorce:
-Fundamental issues like infidelity and abuse
-Experiential issues like disagreements and unsatisfactory sex life
-Fertility issues like infertility and the desire to have children
Social factors that increase the likelihood of divorce:
-Those who marry before age 20 are much more likely to separate
-Lower SES is related to higher divorce rates
-Cohabitation before marriage increases the likelihood of divorce
-Spouses whose parents have divorced are more likely to divorce
Divorce has different impacts at different stages in the family life cycle
-Least disruption for newly married couple with no children
-As more people are added to the family and family has a longer history together, divorce becomes more difficult
Part of dislocation of divorce is loss of family rituals
The Road to Divorce
The decision to divorce:
-Gottman’s “divorce cascade”: increasing conflict, serious consideration of divorce, separation, and finally divorce
•The further along you are in the sequence, the harder it is to avoid divorce
-People may delay separation until a time they consider suitable (ex. Until the children leave)
•They may become involved in activities outside the family instead
Planning the breakup:
-Need to figure out custody, visitation, finances
-Need to tell extended family members
-Often, this process does not run smoothly and many couples separate and reconcile again, sometimes repeatedly
•Aka Boundary ambiguity
Separation and family reorganization:
-Couple now needs to restructure the family by separating the marital and parental relationships
-Need to work out new rules for the continuing relationship between the child and each of them and need to decide
how they will coordinate their responsibilities as co-parents
2
