COUN1003 Lecture Notes - Lecture 3: Active Listening, Eye Contact, Disclose
25 May 2018
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WEEK 3: Attributes of the Counsellor: Personal and Professional
- Personally integrated and self-aware
- Value the client as a unique person
- Understand how and what the client is experiencing
Qualities of an effective counsellor:
- Positive regard or respect for people
- Open, non-judgmental and high level of acceptance
- Caring and empathetic
- Self-aware and self-disciplined – very important
- Knowledge/informed about subject and awareness of resources available within
the community
Qualitied of an effective counsellor:
- Culturally sensitive - Must have deep conversation (eg. Race, gender, life) and
needs to be accepting of all walks of life
- Patient and a good listener
- Ability to maintain confidentiality
- Objective and having clarity – clear intentions
- Counsellors have to see/decide what the best solution is for the client without
causing harm
Effective counselling skills:
Active listening:
Paying attention: Eye contact, nodding etc.
Hearing before evaluating.
Listening for the whole message.
Paraphrasing what was heard.
Probe for causes and feelings.
Poor listening habits:
Not paying attention
Assuming in advance that the subject is unimportant.
Mentally criticizing.
Permitting the speaker to be inaudible or incomplete.
Pretending to be attentive.
Hearing what is expected.
Feeling defensive.
Listening for a point of disagreement.
Rehearsing.
Effective Counselling Skills:
- Reflection feeling and meaning: recognising client’s feelings and letting them
know you have understood their feelings
- Questioning: asking open-ended questions which allow for more explaining.
Help the client to go deeper into their problems and gain insight. Making yourself
feel safe enough to ask them personal question (eg. What you said to me, how
does that make you feel)
- Paraphrasing: repeating in one’s own words what the client has said. Very
powerful tool in which you can choose what to paraphrase and tell the something
find more resources at oneclass.com
find more resources at oneclass.com
in a different way (eg. Emotions – “with just sitting with you, I can feel that you are
very upset today”). The counsellor has to have the courage to ask for clarification
(eg. “what do you mean” and without it, it can lead to miscommunication which is
a destructive tool
- Interpretation: giving back to the client the core issue that they are struggling
with
Therapeutic Relationship:
- The therapist/client relationship is central to therapeutic progress
- The personhood of the therapist is a key significant factor
➢ To the quality of the relationship
➢ A successful outcome
- The goa of a healthy relationship is rapport that leads to desired change
- Effectiveness is related to mutual respect
- Caring, respect and trust create safety for clients to share their deepest concerns
- Client willingness to act and achieve a positive outcome is based on his/her view
that the environment/relationship is safe
- Only take notes that are basic key points and facts (eg. Dates, age) – take notes
respectfully
- The counsellor needs to make the client feel like they understand what they are
going through, however, they don’t need to have gone through the same
experience to understand
The counselling relationship: Empathy vs Sympathy
- Empathy: fuels connections, recognising someone’s emotions and
communicating
1. Understand the client’s experience – can only be empathic if you are being
open to vulnerability
2. Emotionally resonate with client’s experience “as if” it was your own
- Two components:
➢ “Empathic rapport” – accurately sensing and being able to see the client’s
world the way they do
➢ “Communicative attunement” – verbally sharing your understanding with
client
Empathy:
- The therapist senses accurately and communicates back to the client
➢ The feelings
➢ Personal meanings that the client is experiencing
➢ The narrative and its details
➢ “the significance of the story, its meaning in the life of the clients”
Two stages:
- Primary: accurately articulate back the feelings and experiences from overt client
statements and behaviours
- Advanced: accurately articulate back implied feelings and experiences from
incomplete client statements
Cultural and relational empathy:
find more resources at oneclass.com
find more resources at oneclass.com
Document Summary
Week 3: attributes of the counsellor: personal and professional. Value the client as a unique person. Understand how and what the client is experiencing. Open, non-judgmental and high level of acceptance. Knowledge/informed about subject and awareness of resources available within the community. Culturally sensitive - must have deep conversation (eg. race, gender, life) and needs to be accepting of all walks of life. Objective and having clarity clear intentions. Counsellors have to see/decide what the best solution is for the client without causing harm. Assuming in advance that the subject is unimportant. Permitting the speaker to be inaudible or incomplete. Reflection feeling and meaning: recognising client"s feelings and letting them know you have understood their feelings. Questioning: asking open-ended questions which allow for more explaining. Help the client to go deeper into their problems and gain insight. Making yourself feel safe enough to ask them personal question (eg. what you said to me, how does that make you feel)
