PSY327H5 Lecture Notes - Lecture 8: Negative Approach, John Gottman, Sarcasm
Document Summary
Conflict in relationships: remember interdependence, motives, goals, beliefs, opinions, or behavior interfere with those of another. Integration versus separation: how much overlap do you want there to be with your partner and people outside of your relationship: link to how much interdependence and closeness we want. 100 couples with children, reported conflict in a 15-day period. It is not whether you experience conflict, but how you approach conflict in your relationship that matters. Instigating conflict: harsh startup: beginning a conversation in a negative way or with an accusation, tone of first 3 minutes predicts divorce (carr re & gottman, 1999) I"ve been missing you lately, we enjoyed such a nice evening together last week and i"d like to do that more. (positive approach) Four horsemen of the apocalypse: attacking personality or character rather than airing disagreements by focusing on. I can"t believe you didn"t take out the trash. I"m upset that you didn"t take out the trash.
