HDFS 2000 Lecture Notes - Lecture 7: Dating Abuse, Attachment In Adults, Truancy
23 Oct 2018
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•Verbal Indirectness:
-while conversing with partner avoided asking about the other’s activities and
opinions
-while conversing with partner, avoided discussing info about self
•Nonverbal Withdrawal:
-while interacting with partner, avoid touch
-while interacting with partner, reduce the amount of eye contact
-continue to see partner, but not quite as often in the past
•Verbal Directness:
-confronted the other with completed decision to end the relationship
-expressed reasons for ending relationship
-Adult Attachment Types -
•Avoidant females are most likely yo report a break-up
•Avoidant are most relieved following a break-up
•Anxious/ambivalent are the most surprised by break-ups
•Anxious/ambivalent are the most upset
•Anxious/ambivalent who are dating again said they were in love even with multiple
partners
-Suggestions: How to Break-Up Without Going to Pieces -
•Be sure you want to break up
•Acknowledge that your partner will be hurt
•Don’t continue seeing them as “friends” until considerable time has passed
•Don’t change your mind after the break-up
•Changes routines associated with the relationship
•For the Dumpee:
-listen and try to understand why
-don’t try and force them to stay in relationship
-don’t do anything stupid (suicide, stalking, etc.)
-the pain and loneliness you feel are natural
-create a ritual to end the relationship
-change routines associated with the relationship
-Violence Following Break-Ups -
•explain violence following break-ups
-issues of jealousy, control, abandonment, rejection, primal responses
-Courtship Violence -
•Rates similar to marital violence
-1/6
-both men and women are abusers and abusees, but motives probably different
and women tend to be abused more severely
•several studies indicates that premarital violence sets the stage for marital violence
•Why does dating violence occur?
-complex issues
-text discusses class of factors
•violent society
•social learning
-10% of men will beat their girlfriends/wives because of this
Document Summary
While conversing with partner avoided asking about the other"s activities and opinions. While conversing with partner, avoided discussing info about self: nonverbal withdrawal: While interacting with partner, reduce the amount of eye contact. Continue to see partner, but not quite as often in the past: verbal directness: Confronted the other with completed decision to end the relationship. Don"t try and force them to stay in relationship. Don"t do anything stupid (suicide, stalking, etc. ) Create a ritual to end the relationship. Change routines associated with the relationship the pain and loneliness you feel are natural. Violence following break-ups : explain violence following break-ups. Courtship violence - issues of jealousy, control, abandonment, rejection, primal responses: rates similar to marital violence. Complex issues text discusses class of factors: violent society, social learning. 10% of men will beat their girlfriends/wives because of this: social factors, lack or norms for dating couples, level of commitment.
