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Lecture 3

SOCI 1025 Lecture 3: C&M SOCI 1025 Finding the love of your life

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SOCI 1025
David H.Knox

Courtney Hull 2/16/17 C&M Finding the love of your life You have to be careful who you pick. “look well to the other horse” We are not free to select the person we want to marry. Endogamy: pressure on us to marry someone within our social group. Exogamy: to marry someone outside of the family group. Mate selection: (1) Cultural factors. (2) Sociological factors: race, religion, age, physical appearance, etc. “People tend to select people of similar physical appearance” There is homogamy in mate selection. “Marry someone just like you”- same education, religion, etc. (3) Psychological factors: complementary needs (opposites attract.) Data says: marrying someone just likes you is usually a stable long-term relationship. (4) Exchange theory: rewards and cost. Everybody brings to the table plus and minuses. Rewards: good lover, provider, etc. cost: parents don’t like them, drug addict, abusive, etc. Loss: the negative outweigh the positive. We are driven by profits and loss in relationships. Undesirable traits in a person: If they’re controlling – what you wear, what you do. Narcissistic – inflated ego, what you want to do doesn’t make any difference. They look down their nose at you. Impulsive control: They’re not directed by internal control. They don’t have any commitment. Hypersensitive and insecure- every 20 minutes you have to restate that you love them. Controlled: they’re controlled by a parent. (ex: always a daughter, never a wife) Substance abuser: used in moderation – okay. Take away that word, you’re in trouble. The drugs and alcohol become more important than you. Unhappy: whatever they do, it’s always someone else’s fault. Alexithymia: not capable of love. You want them to be involved and love you, but they can’t. Fac
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