HDFS 129 Lecture Notes - Lecture 4: Apache Hadoop, Longitudinal Study, Roommate
30 Oct 2018
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HDFS 129 FINAL Study Guide
EFFECT OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN
Judith Wallerstein’s (author of The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce) longitudinal study of children of
divorce:
• Know the general design of this study.
o 60 families, 131 children
o Homogenous group: well- educated, middle and upper class. No prior emotional problems – (study
of divorce under the best circumstance)
o Divorce “under the best of circumstance” – (brief crisis and things that divorce family will go on)
o Wallerstein expected her study to end in a year or so
o Interviews and questionnaires to measure adjustment
• What were outcomes for parents after 5 years (% happy/unhappy)?
o 50% of men felt more content
o 75% of women felt more content
o 50% of men felt just as unhappy
o 25% of women felt just as unhappy
• What were outcomes for children after 5 years (% with problems, feelings about parents’
divorce)?
o 33% are doing well
o 27% had some problems
o 40% had significant problems
o Majority still wants their parents to get back together
o Majority felt that their parents had given priority to adult needs over children`s needs
o 10% felt relief when parents divorced
Children react to divorce differently depending on their age when divorce occurs. Know how children
react to divorce when they are:
• Preschoolers
o Fear of abandonment
o Confusion about visitation, time
o Difficulty comforting self
• 5-8 year`s old
o preoccupation with feeling of rejection, guilt, and loss
o Fear of being replaced
o Males began to have intense longing for father
• 9-12 year`s old
o Intense anger
o Psychosomatic symptoms
o Acting as caregivers to adults to the exclusion of their own needs; “Parentified children”
• 13-18 year`s old (Adolescents)
o Worry about their own relationship
o Because they understand complexity, they have difficulty sorting through all the issues
o Parents often thought they would be ‘old enough to understand” (assume that, with no
explanation)
o Either separate or become “enmeshed” with one or both parents
• Emerging adults (“sleeper effect”)
o “Sleeper effect” – 25year developing, longitudinal – become emerging adulthood
▪ Anxiety about their own successful involvement in romantic relationships
o Females were preoccupied with betrayal; behavior took many forms
o Males avoided relationships, or were very reserved emotionally
General questions:
• How should parents help children cope with divorce?
1. Understanding Divorce: give information, tell kids at the same time and as soon as a decision
is made to separate
2. Stability: stay in activities; parents remain committed to kids` lives
3. Dealing with loss; permission to love both parents
4. Dealing with anger
5. Dealing with guilt
6. Accepting permanence of divorce
7. Taking a chance on love
• What factors contribute to poor adjustment for children after divorce?
o Continuing conflict between parents
o Decline in parental support
o Loss of contact with non-custodial parent
o Economic decline
o Decline in parental supervision/monitoring
o Moving
• Poor adjustment to divorce in adults is associated with…?
o Lake of social support network
o Economic hardship
o Not wanting marriage to end
o Identity intensely tied to being married
o History of psychological problems
o Viewing divorce as a personal failure
o Presence of children`s behavior problem
o Continuing conflict with ex-spouse
• True/False: As parents put their lives back together after divorce, their kids’ lives also improve
(and why)? – true, kid`s live will improve
• Should parents stay together “for the sake of the children”?
o Young adults who perceive their parents` marriage as high in conflict fared better if their
parents divorced and the conflict ended
o Young adults who perceive their parents` marriage as low in conflict fared worse
o For all kids, if divorce is followed by inept parenting and/or continued conflict, divorce is
detrimental
o At the same time, high conflict in a marriage is detrimental
WHAT MAKES A MARRIAGE WORK?
John Gottman: Know the basics of his research on married couples and divorce
• “Love lab” – at UW
• Longitudinal study of couples
• Can predict divorce with over 90% accuracy
• If high conflict and low compatibility doesn’t predict divorce, when what does? - conversation
“Four horsemen of divorce” (know definitions and whether strategy is used more by men, women, or
equally by both):
• Criticism
o Attacking someone`s global character
o Involves placing blame on person
o It`s global, not specific
o Females use it more than males
▪ “You`re (already directing you) always (nobody doing it always) so
nengative1”
▪ “You only think of yourself”
▪ “You never want to talk
o Difference between complaining and criticism
▪ Complaining is NOT criticizing
• Gottaman says complaining is one of the healthiest things we can do
in marriage, if done correctly
• Expressing anger and disagreement
• Complaining isn’t pleasant, but it makes a marriage stronger in the
long run
• Unvoiced complaints lead to repression, resentment, trouble
▪ Complaints are specific, not global
• “I really love it when we talk deeply… can we do that more?”
instead of “You never talk to me”
• “I expected you to come home after work. When you didn’t I felt
like you would rather be with your friends than with me.” Instead of
“You never call me… you obviously care more about your friends
than you do about me!”
• Defensiveness
o Denying responsibility, Making excuse
▪ Complaint: “I`m upset you didn’t call”
▪ Defensiveness: “I never said I`d call”
▪ Complaint: “My feelings were hurt by what you said”
▪ Defensiveness: “You`re too sensitive; I didn’t mean it the way you took it”
• Feelings are not wrong, thought could be better other, because it`s
process of feeling, but behavior have right or wrong
• Cross- complaining “Well my feelings were hurt by what you said”
o Used equally by both genders
• Contempt
o The intention to belittle your partner
o The message is the he or she is stupid
o Can include name-calling
o Hostile humor, sarcasm, mockery
o Body language
