class 26

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Pennsylvania State University
Frederick Brown

Psych 11/26/12 Class 26 Choosing a mate Filtering Model of mate selection – Potential field of marital partners – Residential proximity filter – Proximate field of marital partners – Similarity and complementarity filter – Homogenous field of marital partners – Interpersonal attractiveness filter – Eligible couples attached to one another – Compatibility filter – Eligible couples with role fit – Married couples – Familiarity breeds contentment because of the predictability – Similarity of backgrounds – 18.9 – 23.1 Adjustive Demands in Marriage Pre-Marriage State: – Intense love and romance – Exploration: 1 impression, halo effects – Minimizing, ignoring or excusing less than ideal – Other person is the focus When “The bloom is off the rose” Marriage State: – Intensity decreases – See realistically other person – Aware of faults and shortcomings – Shift to companionate level Potentially Serious Issues Ineffective communication – Fear of losing an argument or fight – Fear of misunderstanding – Often leads to poorer communication Insight Happy Marriage Communication Patterns of Partners – Talk more with each other – Convey feelings: indicate understanding of what is said to them – Communicate about a wider range of subjects – Preserve communication channels and keep them open – Show more sensitivity to each others feelings – Personalize their language symbols – pet terms and phrases – Additional nonverbal communication techniques – Touch, body language, facial expressions Areas of Marital Conflict – Money and credit cards – In-laws – Friends – Religion – Sex – Recreation – Alcohol & other drug use – Children Listening effectively: Use the PAC adult Staying on target: Don't bring up other issues until the 1 one is r
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