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Lecture

Chapter_14_Maintaining_relationships

5 Pages
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Department
Psychology
Course Code
PSYC 221
Professor
all

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Chapter 14 Maintaining/Repairing 12/08/2013  Committed partners avoid or defuse conflict and act in ways that enrich relationship  Committed partners… • Cognitive interdependence: Start to think less individually, think of selves as mutual  with partner, use “we” and “us” • Think of each other with positive illusions, ignore faults, dismiss bad behavior, re­ explain behavior in positive way • Perceived superiority=see relationship as more special, makes more likely to last • Display inattention to alternatives=uninterested in how well they could be doing in  another relationship o Young adults who are alert to other options in beginning of semester less  likely to still be with partner at the end Derogation of tempting alternatives=see other potential partners as less attractive than the one  they have  Strongest when alternatives most tempting and pose greatest threat  Behavioral Maintenance Mechanisms Willingness to sacrifice strong in committed relationships…could be trivial things or prolonged  things Michelangelo phenomenon=partner supports skill development, encourage self growth, attentive  to needs and desires to become who we want Accommodation=control impulse to respond in kind to provocation and instead respond  constructively  Self control reduced when stressed/fatigued so people less forgiving and more tempted by  alternatives when temporarily spent content when they create novel, exciting activities…play together, stay together forgiveness quickens healing process for both, less stressful to forgive Staying Content Foster positivity Encourage openness Provide assurance Share social network Share tasks Provide support Maintain good humor Best predictors of happy marriage are positivity, assurance and shared tasks Beneficial effects short­lived b/c if stopped, contentment declines Repairing Relationships Don’t always trust experts, may not have sound degree or base answers on research, use personal  opinions lay advice may be wrong, popularity doesn’t equal accuracy  Preventive Maintenance Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program involves 12 hours of training in 5 sessions  for premarital counseling Power of commitment to change partner’s outlooks and behaviors Importance of having fun together Value of open communication about sex Consequences of inappropriate expectations First 3 years of marriage, newlyweds who did PREP more satisfied Marital Therapy Approaches differ with regard to Focus on problematic behaviors and 
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