SOC 2805 Lecture Notes - Lecture 8: Working Poor
Power
• Relative love & need theory: The person gaining the most from the relationship is the
most dependent.
• Principle of least interest: The partner with the least interest in continuing a relationship
has the most power in it.
o “If you don’t do it my way, I’m leaving”
• Power and Intimacy: Negative affect. Intimacy requires equality. Talking,
understanding and negotiation help. Happy marriages are not based on coercion but
caring, mutuality, and respect.
• A woman's power is rooted in their role as nurturers and kinkeepers and has low
visibility, but they are the core of family strength and socialization.
Conflict
• The more intimate two people are the more likely they are to have conflict.
• The conflict is not dangerous to the relationship, but how the conflict is handled is.
○ If handled in a healthy way it can solidify the marriage.
Anger
• Anger can be dealt with in four ways:
o Back off, learn to compromise between closeness and distance to avoid conflict.
Learn what is safe and what is not.
o Suppressing it, let it simmer beneath surface. Causes resentment, and low level
hostility.
o Escalate into violence.
o Recognize it as a symptom of something that needs to be changed. Do not vent or
suppress it but find the source and eliminate it.
Happily Married Couples…
• Summarize
• Clarify
• Validate
• Paraphrase
• Agreement as a gift
o No resentment
• Bargaining & compromising
o Find the best solution for both
• Coexist & agree
o Agree to disagree and live with it
Unhappily Married Couples…
• Confront
• Get defense
• Complain
• Give in
find more resources at oneclass.com
find more resources at oneclass.com
Document Summary
Happy marriages are not based on coercion but caring, mutuality, and respect: a woman"s power is rooted in their role as nurturers and kinkeepers and has low visibility, but they are the core of family strength and socialization. Conflict: the more intimate two people are the more likely they are to have conflict, the conflict is not dangerous to the relationship, but how the conflict is handled is. If handled in a healthy way it can solidify the marriage. Anger: anger can be dealt with in four ways, back off, learn to compromise between closeness and distance to avoid conflict. Learn what is safe and what is not: suppressing it, let it simmer beneath surface. Causes resentment, and low level hostility: escalate into violence, recognize it as a symptom of something that needs to be changed. Do not vent or suppress it but find the source and eliminate it.
