HDFS 1070 Lecture Notes - Lecture 22: Conflict Management, Domestic Violence, Meta-Communication

• School: UConn
• Department: Human Development and Family Studies
• Course: HDFS 1070
• Professor: Ronald Sabatelli

Document Summary

Conflict management can either build or kill intimacy. Prese(cid:374)(cid:272)e of (cid:272)o(cid:374)fli(cid:272)t a(cid:271)se(cid:374)(cid:272)e of satisfa(cid:272)tio(cid:374) Way we manage conflict follows goals for relationship. Important to know why couple is fighting rather than what they are fighting about: the underlaying anxiety creates conflict. Goals of each partner creates unique dyadic combination. Avoidance: agree to avoid conflict from occurring, e(cid:454)) (cid:862)(cid:449)hate(cid:448)er (cid:455)ou sa(cid:455),(cid:863) (cid:862)(cid:449)hate(cid:448)er (cid:455)ou (cid:449)a(cid:374)t,(cid:863) (cid:862)i"(cid:373) sorr(cid:455)(cid:863) Winning: go on the attack, blame, demand compliance, and appoint fault. Intimacy: want to talk about issues, resolve those issues, committed to using conflict as intimacy opportunity, more rational than emotional, yet sensitive to how blame and attacks undermine intimacy. Avoid/avoid: not many extended conflicts expressed, psuedo-mutuality. Claim to agree and get along, but relationship built around anxiety. Unwilling to have conflict as it might undermine relationship. Does not mean it is a good relationship. Easy to make partner angry and to discount them if you are using avoidant style of communication.