CFT 412 Chapter Notes - Chapter 8: Relationship Education, Married People, Relationship Counseling
29 Apr 2018
School
Department
Course
Professor
Marriage: Building a Strong Foundation
Intimacy,
Strengths, and
Diversity
● Generally the most intimate relationship people have
○ Involves emotional and physical intimacy
● Identifying strengths is more important than identifying weaknesses
to make a relationship better
○ Most research focuses on white middle-class marriages
Perspectives on
Marriage Today
● Only 55% of married couples make it to 15 years, and only 35% to
25 years of marriage
○ Only 6% make it to their 50th anniversary
● Men get married on average at 27 and women at 25
○ People are getting married later and later
Benefits of Marriage
● Married people lead a healthier lifestyle
○ Less drinking, conflict and depression
● Married people live longer
○ Have emotional and economic support
● Married people have a satisfying sexual relationship
○ Have more sex than others and rate it as more satisfying
● Married people have more wealth and economic assets
○ Can pool their money and therefore get more
● Children generally do better raised in two-parent homes
○ Higher grades, stay in school, less likely to get pregnant
Marriage and Black Americans
● Related to more income and less poverty, couple was happer and
had better family relationship functioning
● Physical health did not appear to improve
● Black men benefited more from marriage than women in terms of
family life and physical health
● Children in black families, especially men, experienced greater
benefits from having married parents
● Black women who were married actually reported poorer health
● Black women experienced no benefit in terms of quality of family
life when they were married
When Marriages Do Not Work
● People should not stay in destructive marriages
○ Especially if it has physical abuse or substance abuse
● One third of divorces involve relationships with a high degree of
conflict, even with therapy
○ Important that both people want to make a change
Decline in Marriage
● Affected by later marriage age and unmarried cohabitation
○ Decrease in tendency for divorced people to remarry
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Components of a
Successful
Marriage
● Both individuals are independent and mature
○ Easier to develop an interdependent relationship that can be
intimate but not restricting
● Both individuals love not only each other but also themselves
○ Self-esteem allows one to love another to full potential
● Both individuals enjoy being alone as well as together
○ Balance of separateness and togetherness
● Both individuals are established in their work or occupation
○ Fosters financial and emotional security
● Both individuals know themselves
○ Allows for openness and honesty
● Both individuals can express themselves assertively
○ In a direct and positive manner
● Both individuals are friends as well as lovers
○ Law of Enlightened Self-Interest: builds cooperation and
intimacy that benefits everyone
Marriage
Education
● In 1970s, big number of marriage education programs
○ Marriage Encounter led by clergy was popular
● During 1980s and 1990s, marriage education was less popular
○ Marriage was seen as promoting patriarchal norms
● In 1990s, research emerged about negative effects of divorce and
resulted in the marriage movement
○ By 2002, hope of federal funding to support marriage
education nationally
● Healthy Marriage Initiative (Administration for Children and
Families, 2010) was funded at federal level in 2006
○ Marriage and relationship education programs
● Includes education for families, like stepfamilies
○ Separates children from parents during lessons
● Important to provide education to low-income and diverse
populations since they have highest divorce rates
○ Most of the marriage education programs directed toward
white, middle-class couples
Premarital Education
● Some couples meet once or twice with a clergymen
○ Others meet in small group workshops or retreats
● Other couples receive a comprehensive premarital program
What Constitutes an Effective Premarital Program?
● Couple should take some type of premarital inventory and should
receive feedback on the results
○ Establishes a relationship with someone they can reach out
to if more therapy is needed
● Couple should receive training in communication and problem
solving skills
○ Teaches empathy and techniques for self-disclosure
find more resources at oneclass.com
find more resources at oneclass.com
Document Summary
Generally the most intimate relationship people have. Identifying strengths is more important than identifying weaknesses to make a relationship better. Most research focuses on white middle-class marriages. Only 55% of married couples make it to 15 years, and only 35% to. Only 6% make it to their 50th anniversary. Men get married on average at 27 and women at 25. People are getting married later and later. Married people have a satisfying sexual relationship. Have more sex than others and rate it as more satisfying. Married people have more wealth and economic assets. Can pool their money and therefore get more. Children generally do better raised in two-parent homes. Higher grades, stay in school, less likely to get pregnant. Related to more income and less poverty, couple was happer and had better family relationship functioning. Physical health did not appear to improve. Black men benefited more from marriage than women in terms of family life and physical health.
