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November 9th - Lecture 25.doc

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McMaster University
Jennifer Ostovich

Psych 3AC3 Fri. Nov 9 Role of Attachment in Romantic Relationships By Age 5- based on the relation with Mom Can be good/ secure Attachment Key Ideas - separated baby monkeys- 1 with only a warm mom and 1 with a wire mom that also provided food spent most of their time with the warm plush, “caring” mom; only went to wire mom to get food, then back over to warm mom - Mom= safe base (receive comfort from her) – warm/sensitive, makes you feel loveable/valuable – and makes you think that others think so too - OR - Mom= rejecting/ cold – makes you feel unlovable/not valuable- makes you think that others think you are unlovable/not valuable either 3 Childhood Styles – (that last into adulthood) • Secure: comfortable with intimacy, trusting, committed • Insecure-ambivalent: anxious attachment, sometimes mom provides safe base, other times she completely rejects you, anxious to approach mom for help – think “what do I do to get the love/attention but also the rejection” blame self, support is inconsistent • Insecure-avoidant: rejecting moms when children need help Emotionally avoidant, don’t form attachments, “if I need someone, they will just reject me” Four Styles based on degree of: - fear of abandonment - avoidance of intimacy ** see slide with chart Secure: low on fear of abandonment and low on avoidance of intimacy - great romantic partners- aren’t afraid of getting into relationship, feel strong and want to have a relationship with another person Preoccupied: High on fear of abandonment, low on avoidance of intimacy - afraid of abandonment, want to be insanely intimate (never apart), want to be completely and utterly involved/devoted to partner (often obsessed) Dismissing: Low on fear of abandonment, high on avoidance of intimacy - feel autonomous/self-sufficient, don’t need relations at all (mom consistently rejected them) “I don’t care” and actually truly doesn’t care because told themselves they didn’t care / don’t want any type of relationship for so long Fearful: High on fear of abandonment, High on avoidance of intimacy - want close supportive relations yet still avoid intimacy because afraid they will be rejected when they need the other person the most, are
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