PSY 3123 Lecture Notes - Lecture 13: Coparenting, Stepfamily
28 Apr 2018
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March 21, 2018
The Second Time Around
Remarriage and Stepfamilies
Step family: a family where the children are related to one parent but not the other
-Simple stepfamily: all children related to one parent not the other
-Complex/blended stepfamily: variations of the stepfamily form
•Becoming more common
•Becoming more common for the newly married partners to have a child together
2011: stepfamilies represent 1 in 8 couples with children
Until the end of WWII, most remarriages followed the death of a spouse but now they are more likely to follow a
divorce
-Life expectancy increased, so there is less likelihood that people will be widowed at young age, when remarriage is
more likely
-Following law changes, divorces have increased
Fewer people who are divorced intend to remarry
-Important predictor is how amicable the divorce was
-However, people may form common-law relationships without remarrying
-2006: 26% of women and 37% of men entered into a conjugal relationship (married or common-law) within 3 years
of divorce
-Within 20 years, 69% of women and 82% of men had formed new unions
Factors affecting the choice to remarry:
-Fewer divorced parents with children plan to remarry
-Intention to remarry decreases with age
-People who have divorced multiple times are less likely to want to remarry
Three distinct stages in entering and adapting to a second marriage:
-Entering the new relationship
-Planning the new marriage and family
-Forming the remarriage family
One of the main differences between first marriages and second or later ones involves family boundaries
-Need to form a good coparenting relationship with clear boundaries
•Need good boundaries for the children
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March 21, 2018
•Need to form boundaries with the stepparents and decide their involvement with regards to discipline, etc.
-Need boundaries to still remain open in order to allow members, including visiting children, to move in and out and
yet establish a stable lifestyle
One of the main difficulties in remarriage families is that there are too many candidates for available roles
Traditional gender roles work against stepfamilies
-A lot harder because one of the parents is elsewhere - both parents won’t always be there
A difficulty facing some children in stepfamilies is loss of accustomed roles
-Ex. When oldest or youngest child loses position because of stepsibling
Forming a New Family System
As in any other marriage, partners in remarriages have task of commitment because a strong couple bond is the
foundation for the new family
Couples in second marriages are less romantic, more realistic and honest about difficulties in the marriage
Fact that parent-child bond began before the marriage, not following it, can create difficulties in the relationship
between new spouses
-Stepparent may feel like they have to compete with stepchildren for the attention of the spouse/parent
-Privacy and alone time for the couple may be scarce
-Couple time cuts into children’s time when they feel left out and confused following the remarriage
Ex-spouse can also affect the new marriage
-The fact that they have a continuing relationship with the children means there is also a continuing relationship with
the ex-partner
Residential parent-child relationships:
-Often suffers in the early post-divorce period - parent is restructuring his or her life and often has little energy left
for the child
-When the parent remarries, the child must give up some responsibility and closeness to the new adult in the family
- child feels loss and resentment
Nonresidential parent-child relationships:
-Contact varies greatly between families
-Higher income and education and reasonably friendly relations with the ex-spouse usually mean more frequent
contact
-Nonresidential mothers are more likely to maintain regular visits
-If either parent remarries, visits with the nonresidential parent tend to drop off
-Level of contact is also tied to regular payment of child support
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Document Summary
Step family: a family where the children are related to one parent but not the other. Simple stepfamily: all children related to one parent not the other. Complex/blended stepfamily: variations of the stepfamily form: becoming more common, becoming more common for the newly married partners to have a child together. 2011: stepfamilies represent 1 in 8 couples with children. Until the end of wwii, most remarriages followed the death of a spouse but now they are more likely to follow a divorce. Life expectancy increased, so there is less likelihood that people will be widowed at young age, when remarriage is more likely. Fewer people who are divorced intend to remarry. Important predictor is how amicable the divorce was. However, people may form common-law relationships without remarrying. 2006: 26% of women and 37% of men entered into a conjugal relationship (married or common-law) within 3 years of divorce.
