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Lecture 9

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University of Toronto St. George
Stuart Kamenetsky

LECTURE 9: Parenting and Socialization Socialization: -The transmission of standards of any given society from one generation to the next. Emotion regulation-appropriate to display emotions, okay for guys to cry when watch a movie, emotional reactions, cultural components: customs, traditions, foods. Transmitted from generation to generation (op down process), elders pass onto younger ones so they can accommodate, assimilate and take that on to pass down. Doesn't work like this today- horizontally, from peers to peers. Immigrants children learn about canada from their peers. Younger kids teach elders about modern values, tolerance of racial difference, homosexuality, social media. -Tradition theoretical/philosophical approaches as to why and how this takes place: 1. The child is born complete and needs to be left alone to develop (child is active): will be exposed to language, do own niche picking, role of socialization is minor will pick it up anyway, doesn't have to be purposeful for parents because child is active. 2. The child is born a blank slate and everything needs to be taught ( child is passive) - behavioural aspect, watson's approach. All children born the same, empty born bells. Parenting, schooling and education is important because it determines the child. Evidence about good neighborhood vs bad school, parent involvement in school. Little evidence that child is passive but large evidence that parenting is critical to benefit child 3. The child is born bad and needs to be corrected resulting in constant conflict in the process. Don’t really see this but has been influential for child development, education, and make parents feel harsh discipline that the parents take for child to control their impulses. Frontal lobes important for impulse control and don’t develop until adolescence. 4. Mutual adaptation between parent and child, where both play an active part. Fits in the way that parents play an important role in socialization ie. If musicians then child will play piano, if parent is a skater, then child will skate as soon as they can walk. Children don't always follow parents goals so will go pursue their own interests through niche picking, and peers. Mutual adaption goes through both direction, biological maturation where child gradually grown, perception and cognition gradually develops. Legal Implications of Parental Responsibility to Socialize article What happens when socialize fails, child becomes a criminal, what are the responsibilities of parents. Etc. • Parental responsibility to socialize their children is elusive and ill defined. • Parent's responsibilities are rooted in society's interest in the healthy socialization of children as citizens and workers. How is country going to survive and thrive if next generation isn't responsible. • Most parents never come into contact with the law about such issues, ut socialization ''failures' can become a legal problem. What are Parental Legal Duties? • Schooling: • parents and school system usually agree about values. Children have to go to school from 4 to 5 until finish grade 10. public education is rooted in society taking responsibility to socialize children so by grade 10, all kids have common values. If not doing this then countering society's requirement. • Home Schooling: exposed to violence, poor communication. Counter to our core values. High school has higher quality drugs. • Children with disabilities- have the right to go to school. • Discipline: use force up to age 12 that doesn't count as physical abuse. Parents are able to use their discretion as long as in privacy and not abuse. Emotional abuse is difficult to prove could be depressed for many reasons. • Legal system may get involved if parents: • Cannot control their children's public behaviour ie/child steals from store and parent doesn't do anything about it, so committing a crime and parent not able to control in public. Ie. Temper tantrum in public in a theatre, disney movie, and not calming child down throwing popcorn everywhere.At the end of the day, society needs to be inorder, either mental problem or developmental delay we want to have a control orderly society, everyone has rights and these rights have to be acknowledged. • Cannot control their own behaviour in the course of disciplining their children while in public. Doing type of things that society deems to be inappropriate. 12 year old who steals from store, and spanking in public is considered inappropriate and police will be involved. • Legal system may get involved when children misbehave even if this does not constitute an actual crime. Ie. Parents want child to be home on time but child never shows up. Arrangement with the police and police will escort child back and sit in front for ten minutes. • Parents are sometimes, the complainants in such cases. • In some states courts can hold parents responsible for failing to socialize their children if: • Parent fails to comply with a court order to assume particular parental responsibilities. Can't do much if child runs away but other things, supervise, feed, and clothe child. • The parent contributes to the delinquency of a minor ie/child trafficking with drugs, and parents involved. • Legal liability for damages caused by their children. because parents failed to prevent child from misbehaving. • New laws in some jurisdictions- parents are directly responsible for their children's delinquent offenses. If child caught stealing, then parent must pay. • Parents however are not told what they should do to appropriately socialize their children. • In many cases, despite 'good' parenting, children, due to socialization from sources outside of the family, become juvenile delinquents. Socialization is horizontal so peer gets driver licence and break the rule on a car ride.Are parents involved? Parenting • Reciprocal influence between parents and children.A child who is demanding will have involved parents or with harsh discipline. Child is active and has own temperament so not one way path. The degree and how parenting influences a child is not clear. • Origin of parental behaviour: • Universal attributes-affect: parents are in general going to love child, and do what every they need to prepare them for life. Universal emotions and consistent with other species, key role of parenting is to guide offspring to be independent through care, setting expectations, etc. • Culture-specific attributes: discipline- when is it applied, how harshly, routines and rituals-how many, how strict our expectations child participates, cultural differences when parents provide clear restrictions to child ie/western-parents are more restrictive when child is young and lift child when older because they learn more, take more responsibility for themselves. Other cultures- when young doesn’t have the capability to do anything so no restrictions as when older have the potential to make major wrong mistakes so will apply restrictions at that point. • Individual attributes: differences between parenting within cultures. Ie/social class-some have more to give child financially, personality and character-some parents bring different personality, parenting styles-some are more strict and harsh than others. If parents are athletic or academic then will want child to take on those interests. • Parental belief systems: what parents think about parenting is just as important as what they actually do as parents. Ie/adulthood is tough, so prepare as a child the skills they need so they can cope with life when they become adults. Or adulthood is easy, need to ensure child makes right decision in adolescence. Some moms will carry first child constantly until second child is born because adulthood is easy. If adullthood is hard will leave child in the room to control crying on their own because must learn soon. Tough love- may be able to cope very well but feeling neglected about the love they needed. Parenting Styles • Variation in parental behavior within culture • Important to remember that child's temperament and context of development will have a strong influence on parenting styles. Large urban cities determine parenting behaviours ie/in the city parents don't let children use public transit because lower class use buses and strange people use public transit. • Two important dimensions are: looked at them as dichomities not as a continuum. They have to be measurable, ie/permissiveness not love cant measure love • Permisssiveness/restrictiveness: are they allowed to walk on their own to school, are they allowed to pick their own clothing, have friends over. Measurable, not a hypothetical construct, do parents say yes/no, what degree do they give child to make decisions • Warmth/hostility-measurable, physical affection ie/ cuddling, speaking kindly with soft voice, children could still be demanding and parents be restrictive but doing it by being hostile. Hostile- not physical affection, yells a lot. Result in the following parenting styles: Permissiveness Restrictiveness Warmth Democratic Overprotective Hostility Neglecting Authoritarian Have one attribute or the other not in the middle. Authoritarian: not do anything, always say no, because both restrictiveness, hostile. Ie/no you can't go out because something bad will happen to you, don't know how to cope" Overprotective- problematic, rarely let child leave house, always there with the child, long term effects: give child the idea that world is scary place and discourage the child from exploring, create school phobias, show up during recess to make sure nothing happens. Neglecting: child asks to go out, parent will say " I don’t care, don’t bother me". They are not stepping up to their responsibility. Done in a hostile way, not warmth Democratic: let child do what they want, with warmth. 12 year old will be allowed to leave house at night and will be nice about it. Very caring, here's money for the bus Two Dimensional Framework: Cold: hostile. Not dichotomous but continuum so can be somewhere in the middle. Four categories seen as continuum so infinite combinations can be average in both of them. Not really warm or cold. Plotting on chart. Baurmrind's Parenting Styles -Authoritarian: high expectations, little support. Rebellious child, have to defend them to themselves but achieved a lot otherwise punishment from parents or become dependent and social incompetent.. Parents not supportive. Ie/disability child- will be brought up thinking as a failure, grows up to be social incompetent, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, -Permissive-low expectations, lots of support. Parent satisfied as long as child tries, emotional focus, children are different from each other and excel in different ways. Lots of support, low expectations. Little direction, few goals, spend half of their life looking for what they want to do, not assertive, low achievement motivation. -Authoritative: high expectations, lots of support. You need top grades, we can get a tutor I can talk to teacher. Will achieve success at the end. Parents were busy but they cared. High self esteem, high success lots of support. Is associated with most well adjusted kids, not causal. Ie/kid goes to school, gets a job, lives up to societies standards, gets married, gets mortgage. -Rejecting/Neglecting- low expectations, little support. Its kid's life, if you want to fail its up to you whatever you want to do with your life, don't bother me. Families like this parents may have low income, difficult upbringings, abuse in family, difficult children, live in bad neighbourhoods with crime, parents fed up. Child grows up in this environment wont grow upto a lot of successes because low expectations, family with no support-not a lot of opportunities to develop high self esteem, cognitively immature, hard time getting through life. Shortcomings of Parenting Style Research • Other factors such as SES may cause both parenting style and outcome for child. • Parenting styles do not capture the important theme of reciprocal socialization. Ie/immigrant children socialize their parents • Many parents use a combination of techniques-while consistent parenting is important, parents must be sensitive and respond by altering their parenting techniques according to their child's needs. If one child is a nerd the other popular withADHD will parent different. Doesn’t parent the same way, equivalently in terms of love, dedication and rights. Parenting and Public Policy: • The quality and character of parenting results in part from the social context in which families operate. • One important feature of this social context is public policy. Public policy operates on parent like by determining how many taxes they
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