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Lecture 8

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Dan Dolderman

June 12 –lecture 8 PSY336  He who feels punctured must once have been a bubble – Lao Tza (?)  Belief vs faith  Willingness to believe in something  Albert Bandura’s self-efficacy  Sheer empathy -sacrifice your own wellbeing for the sake of them -love -connection (an energy source)  What grounds our behavior? -love for another person -boredom  If I was relying upon myself, then I would burn out (my energy would be depleted) -A deeper ground than that -it’s not like I have a goal or theory, -something that grounds his behavior -> connections (a new source of energy that never runs out)  How to nurture character? -How to build pro-social motivation? -Pro-social motivation = spark + gift >compassion and courage >love and power >spark moments: something makes them want to care, this feeling starts to grow in their hearts. One of the things that they learn is that’s not enough >It is not enough just to touch people’s heart, but you have to expose their power/ gifts >the sense of “I don’t really know what I can do” >high self-esteem, optimism -spark >moral priciples >affiliations (internalized values we have due to social connections) >empathy (feelings, emotions) -It is really easy to under develop our moral emotions  empathy altruism  attachment theory -interpersonal relationships  Scare the monkeys and see what they do experiment (Harlow?) -metal mechanical creature -diabolical contractions -monkey gets scared and runs to clock mother -once the monkey is near the mother, he gains courage -it’s not just he runs away from fear but runs towards security, his mother  Attachment theory -while growing up, their caregiver is their source of security -so the attachment develops and strengthens when we are under some sort of stress  Secure attachment -combination of self and other meet security needs  Innate psychological system (or psychobiological system?) -Attachment behavior system -Interaction through attachment systems -based on expectations about times of need -core sense of attachment and security -in contrast to this is the caregiving system >caregiving: refers to a broad array of behavior that compliment another person’s attachment system -caregiving and attachment systems are complimentary to each other  Human beings -we are individual as well as collective -we are primarily individuals -your needs come first then the others -if the self’s individual needs are unmet, it is going to be difficult to meet the needs of other people  Mikulincer & Batsson -it is difficult to be a good caregiver if their own attachment systems are not met with adequate care -under conditions o threat, adults usually turn to others for support >only when their needs have been met do they start to help/support others  How do you promote security -closeness helps to develop internal motivation -warm responsive relationships  Dali lama -Presence of mind -in Tibet, kids are raised not to be violent -if you teach gentleness to kids, as they grow up, this becomes an internalized value >it gets built up through modeling  Internalized character  Gift, courage, power… where does this come from? -success experiences >mastery orientation >not being (constantly) criticized / evaluated /performance focus / personally criticized (what is wrong with you? Why can’t you do anything right?) -positive feedback -dependent on enriched opportunities -pro-social enrichment opportunities -intrinsic motivation -people are better at focusing their attention, tend to do better  growth, morality, goodness -> leads to the development of security  gift -confidence/ self-efficacy based security  courage -more emotion based security  Guilt -the feeling that you have done something wrong -focused on behavior  shame -the feeling that there is something wrong with you -based on the person -personally focused insecurity -internalized worthlessness -most people carry a certain amount of shame -because
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