Lectures notes on Attraction and Love 2
Rubin’s Theory of Love
· Affliation and dependence ( if I could never be with blank I would feel
· Predisposition to help ( I would do almost anything for blank)
· Exclusiveness and Absorption ( I feel that I can confide in blank about
Validated by scores showing Males and females liking and love for partner
And that Being in love and marriage were correlated with Love scale scores.
But lower love scale scores one time gazing at partner compared to higher
love scale scores.
Sternbergs Triangular theory of love
· Intimacy- emotional closeness and mutual understanding
· Passion- motivation for physical expression
· Commitment- decision that one is in love and commitment to maintain
love long term
Companionate- I +C
Love is Action: I=communicating, offering empathy. P=touching lovemaking.
C= I love you, marriage.
Testing The Theory: Intimacy scores relate with intimate behavior. So does
passion and commitment scores. All three scales correlated with parallel
measure of the three constructs. All scores correlated with each other and
with relationship satisfaction. Discrepancies (current vs past) correlated with
relationship scores. Stage not length correlated with increased intimacy and
commitment and similar passion in guys and less passion in women.
Love is a Story people develop stories, based on personalities and
experiences, about what a loving relationship should be. People seek out
stories that are most like their own. And those that have the same stories are
· Addiction- empty without partner
· Garden- good relationship attainable if willing to spend time and
· Cookbook- follow steps · History- common history
· Government- whos in charge
· Travel- new journey; both interesting and challenging
· War- healthy to fight
Intimacy= negative business, game, mystery, police officer, and actor
Passion- negative government actor and collector
Commitment- negative government game and actor
Maladaptive lack of satisfaction- business,cooking, game, horror
Adaptive satisfaction- gardening, history, travel
Passionate Love- state of intense longing. Reciprocated is associated with
fulfillment and ecstasy. And Unrequited love is associated with emptiness,
anxiety or despair.
Theory of Passionate Love: Physiological arousal (anxiety or sexual) +
cognitive label= LOVE (Passionate Love)
Implications: mislabeling physiological arousal with love….Passionate love
won’t outlast initial physiological arousal.
Passionate Love and Misattribution to it
Male participants rain in a high arousal and low arousal states (Time).
Showed picture of hot or ugly girl. The arousal state contributed to the
romantic and generall attraction and personality.
Aroused males rated higher then not in all these catergories for an
Unaroused males scored higer in all these categories for an UNATTRACTIVE
More parental interference and increasing parental interfer