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Lecture

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Department
Communication Studies
Course
COMN 2111
Professor
Dalton Kehoe
Semester
Fall

Description
Communication in Everyday Life Lecture – February 13 , 2014 From Control talk to Dialogue Talk Dialogue Talk Requires a shift… • From trying to control the other • To managing yourself and getting self under control Managing Yourself • Its about the U.E in the Dialogue model • Understanding first – suspend your judgment o Asking yourself, “what’s going on here?” (this interrupts the process the  brain goes through that can lead to a hijack) • Emotional self­Management – hot to cool feelings o Manage automatic quick and emotional reactions o Avoid saying the first thing that comes to your mind o Cool yourself down o Relax muscles, breathe from the diaphragm o Change your ego state – from angry parent or child to an adult state The Adult Ego State: The “Voice” of self­management Words Used: How What Where Who Uses “I” messages:  I see I hear I feel I wonder Let’s see what we can find Voice Tone Modulated Appropriate Controlled, cal  Straight Confident Corresponds to feelings Non­verbals Relaxed Thoughtful Looks up (as if in search of answers) it seems to me Brow wrinkles when thinking Attentive Engaged Assumptions of Dialogue Talk • Solve problems, not save face – I manage myself, not the other • We both have to change • My story is my story – this is obvious only to me • You have your story – its only obvious to you. I cant tell you how to think or  believe • I have all the data and your side of the story only when I listen to your story • When im clarifying and speaking about whats going on, im only clarifying what I  understand – I clarify my meaning only • How did we contribute to this situation? Dialogue style elements • Descriptive language to explain the situation o Non­judgmental o Assume as little as possible • I messages to tell my story o Acknowledge the other’s concerns o Describe the behavior you’ve observed o Say how you feel about
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