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Feb 27 - Lecture.docx

4 Pages

Communication Studies
Course Code
COMN 2111
Dalton Kehoe

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Communication in Everyday Life Lecture – February 27 , 2014 D.I.A.L.O.G.U.E • Open acknowledgement of their story, situation, humanity o Situational   “This has happened before” o Personal  “I was upset”  “You seem really upset” o Disarming  “I’m no expert, but…” o Hypothetical  “If I’d been in your situation, I would have too…” • Genuine support for them and efforts to resolve o Affirming the other’s right to disagree o Positive Feedback o Two forms:  The compliment: Positive, timely, specific feedback • The Positive “You are” message • When I see/hear….this is how I feel about it…”You are…”  Feedback for Improvement • I­messages, ask questions, acknowledge their feelings,  listen actively • Offer suggestions Conflict • Conflict occurs when one person thinks the actions of another will prevent them  from getting what they want or from being the way they want to be • Words defined to include fighting, striving to overcome, mastery • Can be internal – struggle over choices • External conflict between people Three Levels of Conflict • Disputation o Win by light CONTROL – reasoned argument • Defense of position o Move to heavy CONTROL – negative rhetoric and emotion, threat – move  back to light CONTROL • Destruction of Relationship or other o Win by heavy CONTROL – “force” psychological or physical Orientations to Conflict • When faced with conflict we have internal orientations • Predispositions o Approach or withdraw • Beliefs o Productive or undesirable • Motivations o Winning vs. mutual agreement Avoiding • Postpone until you “cool down” • Tries to ignore conflicts rather than resolve them • Personal stakes are not high • Confrontation will hurt working relationship • Little chance of satisfying your wants • Avoid or delay leaves them uncooperative and unassertive • Passive behavior of the adapted child or nurturing parent ego state Forcing or Competing • Use heavy CONTROL to resolve conflicts • Personal goals more important than relationships • Forcing resolutions to p
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