PSYC1111 Lecture Notes - Lecture 34: Puppy Love
Intimacy vs. Isolation -> 18-25, older now, this is when you would get married to SO!
adult mature love, contrasts this with the puppy love of teenage years!◦
half of high school relationships end by christmas, 3/4 by easter, last 1/4 by beginning of ◦
2nd year!
intensity of adolescent relationship!•
but it is missing intimacy, as intense as it is, it is vulnerable to developmental changes!◦
!
Adult relationship has intimacy !•
only through intimacy can a relationship take a mature form that can endure!◦
!
!
Intimacy -> openness, opening yourself up to the other person and letting them know as much
truth about you as you can!
scary proposition!◦
adolescents don't have a lot of experience with this!◦
most private fears and interests -> who you really are deep down!◦
!
why don't young adults open themselves up?!•
scary, fear of rejection and judgment !◦
!
Erickson gives argument for this!•
the benefit of adult relationship -> each person gives to the other person something they ◦
can't get anywhere else!
other person is very well prepared to provide for us !◦
high school relationship can't provide psychological support when you hide ‣
everything from you !
!
Erickson argues that as an adult we need something like that!•
if you don't have it, even if you have scores of friends!◦
isolated in crowd because no one has anything to give to you!◦
!
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Parent-Child Relationships!
in healthy family, relationship is more or less temporarily decomposed and reassembled in •
early adulthood!
along the lines of what it was in childhood,!◦
when it is recast, it is without the childhood trappings of dependency!◦
need to break that dependent relationship with the parents!•
become the "parent to your parent"!◦
!
adult dependent relationships are doomed to failure!•
one of the major dynamics is one person taking care of another!◦
dependency becomes a goal -> just want to be taken care of, other person can't do ◦
enough !
!
!
independency vs. dependency crisis!•
its a conflict within yourself, some balance between dependence and independence!◦
can't be both dependsnt and independent!◦
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