CAS WR 100 Lecture Notes - Lecture 40: Artists And Repertoire

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The irst criique i had for my essay was that i had to make sure that my argument for the ive characterisics were in order. At this point in ime, my introducion was very well crated. I tackled the acknowledgement and response well, making it not based on locaion, but based on personality traits. I realized that i did not have to touch my introducion paragraph as much as before because my skills in developing it has improved. Throughout the essay, the biggest problem was the low of the essay and especially the organizaion of the paragraphs. I realized that i had a lot of extra informaion not needed in the essay and had to delete many of it. In the end, i organized the thesis and the paragraphs in the proper order in which it shows the chronology of facebook as well as highlighing mark zuckerberg"s personality traits with a smoother low.

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