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Lecture 33

HDFS 2300 Lecture Notes - Lecture 33: Anger Management, Parenting, Sex Education

Human Development and Family Studies
Course Code
HDFS 2300
Louisa Baker

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o First, do no harm
Find effective alternatives to punishments
o What is the goal?
Stop the behavior? Encourage a different behavior?
o Discipline that involves anger from the parent tends to be less effective and
bigger than intended
o Punishment does not deter misconduct
Makes offender more skilled in escaping detection
Resolve to be more careful, not more obedient or responsible
Feels v. acts
o Kids (people) cannot be held responsible for their feelings but only for their
Permissiveness v. over-permissiveness
Permissiveness: accepting the childishness of kids, accepting
children as people with a right to have all sorts of "feels"
Over-permissiveness: allowing undesirable acts, brings anxiety and
continual raising of stakes
o Kids mess up
Kid's understanding of consequences are more rudimentary than adults
o Anger management
o Parents often address the behaviors and not the feelings that precipitated
those problems
o Limit setting: clearly communicating
What the unacceptable conduct was
What substitute will be accepted
o State limits concisely and impersonally
o Limits tend to be accepted more readily when the function of an object is
Tails are not for pulling. A chair is for sitting. Hands are not for hitting.
Disciplinary enforcement
o Sometimes clear limits are communicated and kids still break the rules
o Hints to effectively enforce rules that have been broken
Do’t talk too uch
Actions may speak louder than words with little kids
Positive parenting
o Get off to a good start
o Give kids realistic time limits and the challenge to be ready on time
o Expectations about mood different at different times of day
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