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Lecture

Article 22 - When Is It My Turn.docx


Department
Nursing
Course Code
NUR1 220
Professor
Sonya Laszlo

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When is it my turn? The heart of
listening: the struggle to suspend
our own needs
- Listening demands taking general interest in the speaker
o Sincerity and caring
o Suspend the interests of self
o An active process
Listen to client, don’t concentrate on changing
them
o Try not to give sympathetic comments
May be seen as patronizing
Be compassionate
o Requires you to suspend yourself
Acknowledge what client has to say
Forget what you might say next
o Be responsive
Gives the client a feeling that they are
understood
Give them a sense of importance and that they
are taken seriously
The Burden of Listening:
- Engagement: requires empathy
- Requires self-control especially when the conversation is no
longer of interest
- Genuine listening means suspending memory, desire, and
judgement and, for moments at least, existing for the other
person
- Suppressing your own urge to talk
- At times it takes no effort to listen = when we are touched by
what ppl have to say.
- Sometime we feel betrayed when ppl give us time to talk, but
change topic to themselves
- Someone ppl, while “listening” try to figure out a counter-
argument
- When ppl say, “nothing,” it’s a form of self-protection
o Children: honouring their right to respond the way
they want shows respect as well as interest interest
in them and respect for their feelings.
o If they kids feel that you are genuinely interested, they
will talk
- It’s hard to listen when we feel that we haven’t gotten the
attention we need.
BUT I AM LISTENING:
- Selflessness of genuine listening is hard to sustain = fool
ourselves that we are genuine listeners
That reminds me of the time...
- Between friends = trading stories = ok
- Conversation is interactive
“Oh, How Awful!”
- Listening means taking in, not taking over
o Concerns: the other person making a huge deal about it
- Listening requires attunement- reading and acknowledging the
speaker’s experience
- When listening is genuine, the emphasis is on the speaker, not the
listener
- An empathic response is restrained, largely silent; following, not
leading, it encourages the speaker to go deeper into his or her
experience
- Empathy is about being understanding
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