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MHR741 Class 7

Human Resources
Course Code
MHR 741
Genevieve Farrell

of 1
Class 7 October 25, 2012
MHR741 Section 021 Thursday (10AM-1PM)
Supportive Communication (continued)
Strategies are available to help us communicate better; it is an expectation of you as an HR
The “You” language: gets people riled up the most; it arouses defensiveness
Focusing on “you” makes it seem like an attack on the other person
The “l” language is less provocative to express concern, complaints, frustration, etc
Must avoid using words that are judgmental and derogatory
The “I” language lets you take ownership of your feelings and your statement
These languages can be learned by everyone, they are skills that can be mastered
It may be awkward, challenging and uncomfortable at first
The “I” language has 3 parts to it:
- you must describe what sets you off (the behavior)
- take ownership of your statement (the feelings)
- the consequences of the behavior (the consequences)
You must think of questions like: what if the situation stays the same? What will it result in?
The “I” language rolls the ball back in the other person’s court
- if their behavior does not change, they may not value your feelings
- there is nothing directive or bossy about the “I” statements
- you can make a decision after they have reacted to your statement
“I” statements also convey your message with more clarity
- however, this works when you deliver the statement right after the problem has occurred
There must be congruency when you convey “I” statements
- your tone of voice, body language must all match
You need to practice the skill of the “I” language to do better at it
When using “we” language, there is a chance the onus could all come back on you
Attribution theory: attributing the causes of one’s behavior to be their own fault (internal
attributions); assuming other factors may have caused the behavior (external attributions)
The theory states that we make snap judgments
Self-serving bias: when we do something positive, we attribute it to ourselves to make us look
The way we act also affects those in our vicinity during the attribution process
Perception check: give 2 perceptions/interpretations of behavior
This is more powerful than “I” statements; roll the ball back in their court
Feedback is specific, validating, etc.