PSY 3121 Lecture Notes - Limerence, 8 Women
5 Jun 2018
School
Department
Course
Professor
PSY3121A Dr. Mary-Theresa Howard
Relationships 30.05.18
Movie: Love, Lust, and Marriage
• People in long term relationships report more satisfaction with life
• Memories of how we felt loved as a baby creates a love map for how people feel loved growing up
• More symmetrical faces/bodies = more attractive
• Lust – rush of attraction; infatuation – a’t get the out of our id; attachment
• Men are more likely to cheat 2:1; men have fantasies twice as often as women
o Only 3% of animals stay with the same partner for a lifetime
o More people divorce during the 4th year of marriage, more temptation
• Marriage requires a ceremony or celebration no matter the culture
• Arranged marriage – love comes after the marriage, not before; believe it is a good match b/c of culture,
religion, and family background; need a lifetime to love your partner
o Western dating – ppl ted to put o a iage of ho the are’t, do’t look for the right things
▪ Divorce rates are higher in wester cultures than cultures with arranged marriages
• Long lasting love requires attachment – move through problems
o 4 predictors of divorce – Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, emotional withdrawal
▪ fighting and anger are not predictors of divorce
o a arital proles a’t e fied ut the hae aept to lie ith it
o e aept frieds ho are’t perfet, e hae to do the sae ith our roati relatioships
Dating and Commitment – develop love map, date the person, consider long-term relationship; unconscious
• select partners based on desirability – something about the person attract you
o exchange theory – cost vs. rewards; is the relationship egalitarian
▪ hat is the prie ou’re paig for the relatioship; hat are ou getting out of it?
o Attractiveness – visual symmetry, some people find things attractive about a person that others
don't, status/power, personality, charisma
• Dating begins when a person develops interest in one person and get to know them
o Best relationships start as friends, longer lasting relationships
Romantic Relationships
Stererg’s Triagular Theor of Loe – 8 kinds of love
• Love is the accommodation of Intimacy (liking), Passion (infatuated love), commitment (empty; to the
idea of the marriage or the person; love follows)
o Intimacy + Passion = romantic love
o Intimacy + commitment = companionate love
o Passion + commitment = fatuous love
o Intimacy + passion + commitment = consummate love
o Nonlove = person is an acquaintance
Marriage – result of the decision to commit to the relationship
• Different versions – common law, legally married, same sex marriage
o Versions are created to satisfy people
• Weddings are the ceremonial component of marriage
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