PSY 3123 Chapter Notes - Chapter 3: Dating Abuse, Endogamy, Assortative Mating
25 Jun 2018
School
Department
Course
Professor
PSY3123A
Dr. Mary-Theresa Howard
1. Ch 3 Relationships
20.06.18
Movie: Love, Lust, and Marriage
Couples in long term relationships report more satisfaction with life
Memories of how we felt loved as a baby creates a love map for how people feel loved growing up
More symmetrical faces/bodies = more attractive
Lust – rush of sexual attraction; infatuation – intrusive thinking, can’t get them out of your mind;
attachment
Men are more likely to cheat 2:1; men have fantasies twice as often as women
oOnly 3% of animals stay with the same partner for a lifetime
oMore people divorce during the 4th year of marriage, more temptation
oHigher levels of oxytocin is associated to staying together in a relationship
Marriage requires a ceremony or celebration no matter the culture
Arranged marriage – love comes after the marriage, not before; believe it is a good match b/c of culture,
education, religion, and family background; need a lifetime to love your partner
oWestern dating – never get to really know the person b/c ppl tend to put on an image of who
they aren’t; don’t look for the things that matter in a marriage
Divorce rates are higher in wester cultures than cultures with arranged marriages
Long lasting love requires attachment – move through problems
o4 predictors of divorce – Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, emotional withdrawal
fighting and anger are not predictors of divorce
omany marital problems can’t be fixed but they have accept to live with it
owe accept friends who aren’t perfect, we have to do the same with our romantic relationships
Chapter 3: Getting Together
Marriage: socially, legally, and/or religiously recognized union of ppl who commit to one another
choosing a life partner may seem like a highly personal decision, yet social forces inevitably exert a
powerful influence
find more resources at oneclass.com
find more resources at oneclass.com
sex is necessary for human reproduction, and sexuality is often an essential part of mate selection, but a
great variety of social and cultural practices are associated with choosing a mate
Romantic love: a strong emotional attachment often including a mixture of sexual desire, tenderness, affection,
and playfulness
standard basis for mate selection in European and North American societies
roots in courtly love which in Provence during the 12th C.; ideal was spiritual rather than sexual
oover the centuries, there was gradual linking of sex and romantic love
Setting the Family Cycle Turning
Mate Selection – process by which partners are selected; most common starting point; pairing may be
heterosexual or homosexual
some couples live together but never marry, some marry before living together; many begin with
premarital cohabitation and eventually marry
Two basic Streams – decided by the couple, decided by the families of the couple
societies where couples do not have free choice of a partner, the basis of the relationship is also
established before marriage, where personal aspects of their relationship, such as intimacy, may not
develop until after marriage
best marriages start out with development of friendships; lots of respect, self-disclosure
Sociological perspectives for understanding mate selection
Structural functionalists – necessary to maintain social order and perpetuate society
Conflict theorists – the norms of mate selection reproduce the existing class structure
Feminists perspective – women often considered objects of exchange; mate selection reduces women to
objects largely based on appearance
Symbolic interactionists – focus on communication that occurs btwn couples as they develop and
maintain the relationship
oInteraction patterns that are formed while dating often continue throughout the relationship
Developmental Tasks
establishment of intimacy – close emotional relationship, ability and freedom to disclose one’s innermost
self to another
establishment of the foundation for a relationship – defining relationship for selves, realigning
relationship with each partner’s family and friends
cultural Influences on mate selection
in Asian Indian families, men are expected to provide financial support for their families of procreation as
well as other needy relatives
find more resources at oneclass.com
find more resources at oneclass.com
othese marriages are often arranged
north American culture values individual achievement
oeach person is responsible both for his or her own success and for the well-being of his or her
family of procreation
In South Asian families, for example, men are expected to provide financial support for their families of
procreation as well as other relatives. If a father dies, his oldest son or brother will support his widow and
children. Because they are not regarded as wage earners, women are devalued as a financial liability. The
well-being of the family as a whole takes priority over individual happiness.
In contrast to South Asian society, mainstream North American culture values individual achievement. All
people are responsible both for their own success and for the well-being of their families of procreation.
Both males and females are valued as individuals. In this system, “family” tends to be defined more
narrowly than in South Asian society. When the individual social security system fails, there is little formal
expectation that extended family members will help.
Courtship Continuum – Arranged vs. Free choice treated as being different but lie along continuum with
completely arranged marriage at one end and completely self-chosen unions at the other
Arranged Marriage – type of marriage in which the partners are selected by a third party rather than by each other
existed in most societies and historical periods, occurred in Canada and still do
oNew France and Upper Canada – ppl encouraged by wealthy landowner parents to marry for
family and property
o25% of second-generation South Asian immigrants in North America have arranged marriages
osecond-generation immigrants indicate that conflicts with their parents in the realm of dating
and marriage are common because they may want to follow customs they have learned in
Canada instead of those of their ethnic group
oParents actively search for a mate form their ethnic group, using newspaper ads and internet
sites
based on familial considerations rather than individual desires; commitment to family
oin past, children were considered a family asset and could help preserve or improve their social
standing through marriage
ocultural rules outline who a person may marry based on religion and/social status
become rarer but continue to occur in world and among many immigrant groups in Western societies
There may be pressure on children of new Canadians to marry within their ethnic group (endogamy)
A common strategy used by parents is to restrict the social interactions of their children
Forced marriage: a marriage in which ppl are coerced into marrying against their will
Different than arranged marriages b/c no free and informed consent of both parties
find more resources at oneclass.com
find more resources at oneclass.com
Document Summary
Couples in long term relationships report more satisfaction with life. Memories of how we felt loved as a baby creates a love map for how people feel loved growing up. Lust rush of sexual attraction; infatuation intrusive thinking, can"t get them out of your mind; attachment. Marriage requires a ceremony or celebration no matter the culture. Divorce rates are higher in wester cultures than cultures with arranged marriages. Long lasting love requires attachment move through problems: 4 predictors of divorce criticism, defensiveness, contempt, emotional withdrawal. Marriage: socially, legally, and/or religiously recognized union of ppl who commit to one another. Choosing a life partner may seem like a highly personal decision, yet social forces inevitably exert a powerful influence. Sex is necessary for human reproduction, and sexuality is often an essential part of mate selection, but a great variety of social and cultural practices are associated with choosing a mate.
