PSYC 150 Lecture 5: EXAM 5 study guide/notes
12 Feb 2019
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Two lies that influence our choice of who we date (and possibly marry)
• Lie 1: I need this person to be complete (ambivalent is most likely to buy into this)
o Buying into the myth that another person will make you whole
o This person will do anything to keep the relationship (desperate)
o This person is trying to obtain approval, affirmation, and ultimately an identity
o When the relationship ends, this person blames the other for failing them
o “You complete me.”
• Lie 2: If this person needs me, I’ll be complete
o Wants a relationship with anyone who will build them up
o Interested in multiple challenges/projects
o This person is selfish in that they care more about how another person makes
them look/feel
o Lacks respect for another person
o Are you “okay” with dating someone who WANTS to be in a relationship with
you, not someone who NEEDS to be in a relationship you?
▪ Not completion, COMPANIONSHIP
• Categories/Areas that can be incomplete:
o Emotional
o Mental
o Physical
o Spiritual
o Social
o Volitional
Attraction
• We are often attracted to others when the interaction is rewarding
o Direct reward
▪ Interest, approval, physical attraction
o Indirect reward
▪ Familiarity, future plans
• We are often attracted to others who are near to us – proximity
o Assigned seats in the classroom
o Student housing
Mere Exposure Effect
• College women attended several classes
o 15 times
o 10 times
o 5 times
• The women never talked to anyone, they just sat in the room
• At the end of the semester the students were given pictures of the women. The more
the women were seen in the room, the more attractive they were to the students. And,
all of the women were identified as more attractive than pictures of women who were
never in the classroom.
A beautiful person (male/female) is often perceived to be a good person (bias)
• Presumed to be interesting
• Assume that they are agreeable, an extrovert, and conscientious
• The initial observation triggers a positive response
• The more attractive a person is the more promiscuous they are assumed to be
• Are perceived to be kind, strong, outgoing, nurturing, sensitive, sexually warm
and responsive, interesting, poised, sociable, an exciting date, good character,
and likely to be successful with happier marriages and more fulfilling lives
• Faces are usually symmetrical (Golden ratio)
Matching
• Matching is a concept of individuals dating another person who is similar in their
physical attractiveness
o There may be differences in casual dating but for established relationships, the
similarities in physical attractiveness is typically well matched
o Pursuing people who are similar will tend to yield better results
A potential Partner’s desirability = his/her physical attractiveness x his/her probability of
accepting you
• Matching is a concept of individuals dating another person who is similar in their
attitudes and values
• What is balance theory?
o Individuals desire a balance in the relationship? (thoughts, feelings, social
relationships)
• Do pick-up lines work?
• Why do men use pick-up lines?
• What do men and women want in a relationship? Are all three of equal importance?
o Warmth and loyalty
o Attractiveness and vitality
o Status and resources
The Three R’s Every Family Teachers
1. The RULES they enforced
2. The ROLES they asked you to play
3. The RELATIONSHIPS they modeled
Differences
• On average, the adult male brain is 8-10% larger than the adult female brain
• Women have larger volume in both the frontal and cortex (manager) and the limbic
cortex – emotional responses
o May stand to reason why women are less impulsive
Document Summary
Attraction: we are often attracted to others when the interaction is rewarding, direct reward. Indirect reward: familiarity, future plans, we are often attracted to others who are near to us proximity, assigned seats in the classroom, student housing. The more the women were seen in the room, the more attractive they were to the students. And, all of the women were identified as more attractive than pictures of women who were never in the classroom. Are all three of equal importance: warmth and loyalty, attractiveness and vitality, status and resources. The three r"s every family teachers: the rules they enforced, the roles they asked you to play, the relationships they modeled. This is due to women"s use of the left side of the amygdala (emotional memory) It is believed that women speak three times more words per day than men. Not true both men and women speak, on average, 16,000 words a day.
