SOC 030 Lecture Notes - Lecture 21: Hypervigilance, John Gottman, Sarcasm
Document Summary
130 couples have agreed to put their marriages not only under the microscope but in front of the camera as well. Ability to predict divorce is based in part on gottman"s analysis of these couples and their interactions. The most obvious indicator is the way it begins. If the discussion begins with a harsh startup, it will inevitably end on a negative note, even if there are a lot of attempts to make nice" in between. Stats tell us: 96% of the time you can predict the outcome of a conversation based on the first three minutes of the 15 min interaction. Certain kinds of negativity, if allowed to run rampant, are so lethal to a relationship. A complaint only addresses the specific action at which your spouse failed. A criticism is more global-it adds on some negative words about your mate"s character or personality. A complaint focuses on a specific behavior, but a criticism ups the.
