CMN 120 Study Guide - Midterm Guide: Conflict Management, Peer Pressure, Longitudinal Study

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8 Mar 2017
1. What are the characteristics of friendships? How are friendships similar/different
from love?
Characteristics of friendship:
o We want our friends to accept us for who we are and what we do
o Providing things for us when we need assistance
o We want friends we'll enjoy having time with
o How much they value and care about us
o Cae ≠ suppot - can care w/o providing support (Ex: I worry for you when
ou’e stessed out, ut I do’t do anything about it)
o closer you become with people, the more you self-disclose
o Disclosure makes you vulnerable, but also shows trustworthiness
o Rewards and costs should be the same for both friends
o No fake friends
Similarities w/ Love
o The more we respect our friends, more satisfaction in relationship
o Moral qualities consistent to our own
o We assume friend/partner is going to keep our best interests
o Become guarded/cautious if we lose trust problematic
o We want friends that are interested in what we have to say, opinions,
o Attention, appreciation
o Demonstrating responsiveness generates intimacy & promotes self-
o Can capitalize on friends/our successes to feel better about ourselves
enhances happiness
o Example: engagement
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When you tell close friends, they will be very excited - this makes
you feel better
Social support
o Having a friend who is going to provide aid during times of needed
Emotional support - acceptance, reassurance, affection
Advice support - trying to give guidance about how to do
something differently
Material support - physical, tangible things that may be support
(money, car)
(not mutually exclusive)
o Best people to give social support = securely attached
o Different people want different types of social support
Differences from Love
Less complex feelings
o Liking (friendship) vs love (romantic relationship)
Love is more complex than just being friends with someone
Less stringent standards and obligations
o Expect loyalty but much higher expectation in romantic relationship
o Love relationship harder to dissolve than friendship
Easier to end friendships than it is to end relationship
o Lack of overt expression of positive emotion
Kissing, hugging in romantic relationships
o Friends are less exclusive - we are going to have more than one friend
2. What are affinity-seeking strategies?
Strategies that increase our level of attractiveness for other people
o This is based on what people thinks make them attractive, what people
think makes others like them & what people think makes others feel
positive towards them
1. Be of help to others (altruism)
o Be willing to help and provide things
2. Appear in control
o People tend to like you more if you have control over your life
3. Present self as socially equal
o Do’t t to ostatl oe-up others
4. Present self as comfortable with others
o Awkwardness is unattractive, being confident is socially attractive
5. Allow others to assume control over relational activities
o Let others make choices in relationship
6. Follow cultural rules
o Do’t e too diffeet
7. Appear active, enthusiastic, dynamic
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o No oe like soeoe ho’s sad all the tie
8. Stimulate and encourage others to talk
o Ask them about their likes/dislikes
9. Engage in self-disclosure
o “hos ou’e illig to e uleale ad ale to ope up
10. Appear optimistic
11. Appear to others as independent
o Have your individuals opinions and beliefs
3. What are the levels of friendship development for children?
1. Fair-weather cooperation
o Children learn to take perspective of others & understand multiple points
of view
Conflict management is more successful if you work together (if
conflict is unresolved, they may think friendship is over though)
Interpersonal need fulfilled - acceptance
2. Intimate-mutual sharing (middle school aged)
o Children learn about collaboration
o Relationships can sustain and survive through conflicts
o Interpersonal need - intimacy
3. Autonomous interdependence (teenagers)
o Single, particular friend cannot fulfill all our emotional and psychological
needs, we need multiple friends
o Interpersonal need - sexuality (think more about romantic interests)
4. What are important sex differences for friendships? Individual differences for
Sex Differences in Same-Sex Friendships
Woe’s fiedships ae haateized  emotional sharing & self-disclosure
o More emotional support
o Express more feelings of affection
o Fae to fae fiedship
o Woe’s sae se fiedships ted to e lose & oe itiate tha
Me’s friendships involve shared activity, companionship and fun
o Less emotional support
o Less expression of feelings
o Impersonal conversations
o “ide to side fiedship
Why? Very culturally specific to western societies
o Traditional gender roles, social norms that encourage emotional
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