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Chapter 10

COMMERCE 3S03 Chapter Notes - Chapter 10: Abilene Paradox, The Negotiation, Assertiveness


Department
Commerce
Course Code
COMMERCE 3S03
Professor
Frances L Tuer
Chapter
10

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Chapter 10 Handling Conflict and Negotiation
Use Robust Dialogue for Team Issues
Abilene Paradox People do not want to openly voice their true feelings for fear of
disagreement.
o Most people express the opposite of their true opinion just so they fit in and gain
perceived approval.
Robust dialogue = full information
o It takes longer than a typical decision, but the problem will be solved faster.
o The divergent stage of the dialogue draws out multiple perspectives, opinions.
This is followed by the convergent stage in which information is integrated into a
common interpretation, enabling the best solution.
There shouldn’t be back and forth conversation until everyone has had a chance to
speak and voice his/her perspective at least once.
Each participant has the responsibility of disclosure
Each participant has the responsibility of inquiry (ask questions to deepen one’s
understanding about what something means).
o Also explore assumptions and listen deeply without defensiveness.

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The Foundation of Dialogue
Debate The intent to
present one’s own opinion
and persuade others in the
group to adopt it by beating
down opposing viewpoints
Dialogue Requires the
participants to suspend their
attachment to a particular
point of view so that a
deeper level of listening can
emerge from the group.
o The focus is to reveal
feelings and build
common ground,
with emphasis on
inquiry rather than
argument.
A Guide for Conducting
Difficult Conversations
Prepare Your Mind: Learning versus Combat
o Open your mind to the big picture and to learning as much as you can about the
other person’s point of view.
o No preparation leads to a combative attitude towards the conversation, meaning
you want to win and you want the other person to lose (creating a battle)
The First Rule for Any Difficult Conversation
o Truly hear the other person.
o Let people “empty their cup (of beliefs) before you begin speaking.
o “To be understood, first seek to understand the other person”
Use the ILETS Model
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o
o Introduce the topic
Tells the other person the subject that you would like to discuss
Should be concrete and factual rather than theoretical or judgmental
o Listen to the other person
Let the other person empty their cup.
Paraphrase what is said to clarify your understanding.
o Empathize
Put yourself in their shoes, sense their emotions and understand their
perspective.
Show your respect for their feelings and opinions.
Professional Intimacy show compassion and concern for others without
getting caught up in emotions.
o Talk
Tell your story and perspective, stay calm and be objective.
Reassure that they are not in trouble, and emphasize that you want to
understand their view and solve the problem together.
o Solve the Problem
Now it’s feasible to work toward a solution, by brainstorming options to
meet the needs of both sides.
Additional Tools
o Plan the best time and place
o Invite a third person
o Rehearse beforehand
o Avoid conversation killers
E.g. “Its your fault” or showing poor body language
How to Deliver Bad News
o ITELS Model
o Introduce set the stage by introducing the topic
o Talk Put the bad news out there first, and don’t beat around the bush
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